Because I like to make things MORE complicated...

I went on a job interview Sept 8th. It went well. They called me back & I went for a 2nd interview -- just this past Thursday. I can assume that went well too, since they asked for my references.

Great, right?

C'mon guys, this is me -- you know things can't just be simple! You know I can't just NOT think and NOT over think and not THINK some more.

The position I went in to interview for originally was for a social worker position. The position I interviewed for at the second interview was a social work supervisor position. I knew the supervisor position was available, but specifically did NOT apply for it. I didn't (don't?) want it. I have enough going on in my life, I have to have a flexible schedule -- I can't do this now.

So, when the Director of Social Work started to tell me about the job I said "This is the Social Worker position?" And she replied "no - it's the supervisor. The other one is already filled."

(Cue internal panic.)

But, as she was telling me about the job I actually started to get excited. I started to think: "Hey, I could do this. I could enjoy this." PLUS - the salary would probably be a good 10-20 thousand more than I made before. Think about that. Ponder it. Let it stew. (Disclaimer: Before you think that this will be a huge salary -- remember: I. Am. A. Social Worker. There's no such thing.)

Then she says "Well, there might be one or two late days.... if there is an emergency or some thing..." And I panic again. I can't do that.

She asks for my references. I tell her my supervisor is not allowed to give a reference -- only HR -- but that I have co-workers and others who will give references. She looked at me, I felt, somewhat askance.. but what could I do?

I now find myself in the strange, and yet not so unusual for me, position of worrying that I will get the job AND worrying that I won't get the job.

It's hard being me, no?