A Spork With an Added Edge - New York Times

A Spork With an Added Edge - New York Times

Now, THIS is cool - cooler than the Cozi, and much cooler than the stuff in the One Step Ahead catalogues....

Thirteen Things that my kids have done, just today, that made me smile1…. Thinking they could prevent a punishment by telling me what they did wrong from the distance of our fifth floor balcony. 2.... Watching tv on the couch - standing on their heads. 3.... Singing along to Elton John on the Muppet Show - playing toy guitars. 4.... Telling me that he wants to tell his first grade teacher that my mom's cousin is going to jail. (Yes, he is. Federal. 18 months. X told him - I wouldn't have.) 5.... Telling me: "Boo Yankees! Yea Mets!" 6.... Insisting that I sit with them on the couch to watch Beeker's Hair pop off - and laugh hysterically each time we watch it. 7.... Talking about the boy in the playground who was wearing a Red Power Ranger Costume... and could I get them one? 8.... Thinking that I'd really have thirteen things I could list. 9.... Telling me the story of Christopher Columbus, then singing, under his breath, the "Columbus on the Ocean Blue" not thinking I can hear him. 10.... Telling me that he has packed plastic spiders, vampire bats, and tarantulas, upon hearing that my sister will be sharing a room with us on our weekend away this weekend - knowing how she is SO scared of spiders.... (Wait. Could I make that sentence any more awkward? Awkwarder? Aardvark? Sorry. Too tired.) 11.... Nathan telling me that his teacher said I can't send in popcorn for lunch, and how he does NOT want yogurt, it's too much - and could I PLEASE make sure to include the Scooby Fruit Roll-ups - NOT the other fruit roll ups. The Scooby ones. 12.... Going to sleep with the fan on, even though it's like 50 degrees out - and putting the fans RIGHT NEXT TO their heads - so that their hair is blowing back like they're dogs with their heads stuck out a window. 13.... They fell asleep together, in the same bed. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Cozi

Cozi

I don't know... this seems kinda cool.....

Sometimes life's good...

Today when I came home from work Max said to me: "I'm going to do a book report." "Huh? What?" "I did one today in school, and I'm going to do one now." And he got a book, got his "Book Report" notebook, sat down, read the book and wrote about it. Complete with the "moral of the story."

Is this my son?!?

I remember last year at this time when I was getting notes from his teacher: "Max isn't behaving." "Max won't sit down." "I"m putting Max on a "behavioral" plan." And every day I had to read and sign a report about his behavior. And at home, he would be all over the place, each evening was a battle.

Now he's just so much more..... settled. I mean, ok, he still jumps off the back of the couch, but....

And the tennis lessons - I have never seen him so involved and excited about something! He is totally owning it, practices it, enjoys it.... Ahhhhh....

Is this what it's like when they get older?

Nathan.... well - he's doing really well, too. My mom was really great the other day when she asked me why Nathan has so many gender issues? Like why does he say he wants to be a girl? I said it's probably his age... or else maybe he's a transexual. My mom was all: "Well, we need to nip that in the bud!" "Umm, mom - either he is, or he isn't." To which she replied that she did NOT believe that, and that I should find somebody for him to talk to.

Maybe my $100/session shrink?

And J - well J has moved into his new apt - and I went there yesterday. Sorry to report, nothing really strange there to talk about... He does have a gorgeous painting that was done by his daughter - it's amazing... and not too much else of note. But he's still moving stuff in, so I'll keep you all posted.

He gave me a key to his new place. (Hear the trumpets?!?!) I'm on a quest to find an open locksmith (why are they always closed when I try to go? Is it me?) so I can make copies of mine.

THe kids have stayed over at X's girlfriend's two times already. Once on the weekend, and again last night. They sleep in her bed (hope she has plastic sheets!) and she sleeps on the couch.

From all reports (from the kids) she really seems very nice. They've been talking and talking about her. You know X - he's not really much of a "giver." And I get the sense that Janet is. And the kids know it, and are responding to it. And I don't even mean material stuff.... but even just how she is responding to them. And to X. I mean, she's already invited him to move in with her if he doesn't get a job by end of October.

So, all that's pretty good.

Just don't ask me about money.

Quiet Contemplation & a big, big mouth.

So today is Yom Kippur. The holiest day of the Jewish year, a day where we fast, ask G-d for forgiveness, and just kinda sit with ourselves & think.

I, of course, was outside with the kids for much of it (it being the synogogue service). THey would not go to the "kids" room - so after the family service and sitting in the "big people's service" for about 1/2 hr - we went outside.

The problem about fasting with kids... is imagine if you might generally have a short fuse... Right. THen think of that with no food. Uh huh. Yup. Just like that.

I've spent most of the day today sleeping - it's the best way to get through it. But I have to say, I do think it's something everybody should do: go through one day without food or drink. It won't kill you, but it sure as shit will make you realize how it feels (on a small, small scale) to go hungry. And to go hungry and NOT have the luxury to sleep. I simply cannot imagine doing anything even slightly more taxing than this...

So, I told you all about most of my week last week - but didn't talk about Friday night. I went out w/J on Friday. Now, I don't know if you've picked this up - but J and I have gone out for nearly seven months and have not had ONE fight. That's right. Not a one. I wouldn't say Friday was a fight... it wasn't. But it was intense.

It started by my asking if he wanted to come pumpkin picking with the kids & I. ANd my parents. ANd he could bring his daughter, if he wanted.

Then it just opened up this whole thing about him telling his kids about me... and me... well... me just being so darn impatient for this to be... I don't know what. But to be. I love being with him so much - I feel so good when I'm with him -- that as I actually explained it to him - that he's become an addiction! Must. Have. More. Must. Have. Unfettered Access. (Like that word? Unfettered? Not often I get to use that word. I'd like to thank J for giving me the opportunity!) :)

And you wanna know the kind of freaky thing?!? Much of the "stuff" that came out of me was stuff that had been lurking in the back of my brain.. you know, the stuff you think of to yourself -- but say: "It's ok that I think this to myself. But it should only be to myself. Not for the general public." Yep. That sort of stuff. It came out. How does that happen? I mean, it was stuff that I had thought through and negated. To myself. But all of a sudden: poof! There it was! Out on the table! Ack!! WHERE ARE MY FILTERS?!?!?

So so totally my bad. The poor guy has more than enough to deal with - moving out of a house and a relationship that was twice as long (and probably much better)than mine, kids that are older that require a different sort of handling, and having to negotiate his new living and custody arrangements. Not a pack of easy stuff.

Then to have me in the background... "well, you should tell them soon!" ANd part of it was for him - and them - to have ample processing time. And part of it was purely and simply me - thinking of me.

Don't worry. I'm not going to totally beat myself up over it. I am only human, after all. (Maybe it was a reaction to spending my entire day running around thinking not at all of myself (and my aching feet) and getting rent money for a client...) And I did appologize. And we did talk it out.

But still, it sucked to have stressed him out even more, and it sucked to have that kinda tense feeling that we hadn't yet experienced (that yes, yes, I know we will....)

But, kinda nice to have the fight "test run" to see how it goes... And I suppose... also... kinda good to have all the stuff outta my head... (more room for all the other crap!)

Hin's Tech Corner

Hin's Tech Corner

Owwwww

You know, people have told me about migraine headaches - but I never really REALLY knew what they were like until this past Wednesday night.

All day Wednesday I felt kinda.... off. Slightly headache-y & like I was coming down with something. Also really tired. I figured it was just a hold over from the night before and that I'd catch up with my sleep when I got home. The kids were w/X and J coming over later.

Didn't happen. I was in the middle of making the kids' lunch when all of a sudden: Must Lie Down Right Now. And there I stayed for the next hour - alternatively sweating and shivering, feeling like I was going to be sick, head hurting so badly that I just thought it would pop off.

Then, by about 9:30 or so, it was fine.

So in reading up about migraines, I find out that they occur most frequently in women between the ages of 35 - 45 - because that is the time in their lives when they "do the most" - kids, job, etc.

"... migraine headaches are more common in women. In fact, about three out of four people who have migraines are women. They are most common in women between the ages of 35 and 45; this is often a time that women have more job, family, and social commitments. Women also tend to report higher levels of pain, longer headache time, and more symptoms, such as nausea and vomiting.
Hormones may also trigger migraine. Over half of women with migraine report having them right before, during, or after their period. Others get them for the first time when taking birth control pills. And some women start getting them when they enter menopause."

So, I pretty much fall into all the categories. Granted I've been under lots of stress for at least the past oh, two, three, four, five, six.... seveneightnineten years - one could argue that Tuesday night was especially stressful - plus I had just gotten my period, plus just started a new birth control. Plus lets not forget the mice. Never had mice before.

By the time J was over - I was pretty much fine... but I tell you -- the fear that I would get another was horrible! Hope to hell it doesn't happen again.

And now you know...

... the rest of the story. Or maybe not if you didn't read my other half. (I'm workin' it. I'm workin the two blog thing - as if you couldn't tell!)

So, my cousin's husband goes: "I find it so funny how you have two active boys!" And I was like "Yeah, I always thought I'd have two, quiet little bookish girls..."

And it's true. They are a lot. Little energizer bunnies.... Always in competition with each other, and at the same time very fiercely loyal. It's always a learning experience to just watch.

But, I'm always thinking that - well - I'm a woman. I'm a woman, and not a horribly athletic or adventurous woman (well, not those sorts of outdoorsy, mountain climbing, heights jumping, tightrope walking sort of adventures.) And yes, of course they have a Dad... but let's face it - one night a week and every other weekend... not so much.

SO - very long way of saying that this past weekend was so nice because I realized how many MALE relatives I have, and how all my male relatives have GIRLS and how they LOVE to play with my BOYS! It was perfect!

My boys were thrown, rolled, karate kicked, ninja punched, boxed, summer saulted, and flipped for nearly two days straight. They call my mom's cousin "madman" (which I secretly think he likes!), love talking to my mom's brother about how he was a soldier, talking to my mom's other brother about tennis... etc, etc, etc

Just kinda drove home the whole "It Takes a Village" idea... made me appreciate my family all the more and saved me a few ninja bruises, as well!

Omigod!

Wanna see an "Easy Blow?" Go look here! You won't regret it!!






Hee, hee, hee!

Listen the Shofar Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur and the Jewish month of Elul שופר

The shofar is used mainly at Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It is blown in synagogues to mark the end of the fast at Yom Kippur, and blown at four particular places at Rosh Hashanah. Because of its inherent ties to the Days of Repentance and the inspiration that comes along with hearing its piercing clasts, the shofar is also blown after morning services for the entire month of Elul (excluding Shabbath), which is the last month in the year but the sixth of the Jewish months which are counted from Nisan. It is not blown on the last day of month, however, to mark the difference between the voluntary blasts of the month and the mandatory blasts of the holiday. Shofar blasts are also used during penitential rituals such as Yom Kippur Katan and optional prayer services called during times of communal distress. It is also commonly blown to signify the beginning of worship at Karen Wheaton's ministries The Ramp. The exact modes of sounding can vary from location to location. The shofar is now almost never used outside these times, though has been seen in western classical music on a limited number of occasions. The best known example is to be found in Edward Elgar's oratorio The Apostles, although an instrument such as the flugelhorn usually plays the part instead of an actual shofar.

It's Thursday!!

Thirteen Things I Have Floating Around In My Head (In no particular order.) 1…. I'm so tired; why am I doing this? 2.... Was that a mouse or a dust bunny? 3..... How am I ever going to lose those extra five pounds if I eat pop tarts? 4.... Gotta buy that Power Ranger Costume. 5..... Don't you dare buy that Power Ranger Costume! 6.... Not gonna see J. for another week. 7..... Can't believe it's the (Jewish) New Year again ALREADY! 8.... I'm so tired, why am I doing this? 9.... Am I allowed to use the same thought twice? 10.... I don't think these lines look straight. 11.... I need glasses. 12.... Shit - have to make Max lunch! 13.... How did I get a mosquito bite on my butt? Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

FBI: New York safest big city in 2005 - Yahoo! News

FBI: New York safest big city in 2005 - Yahoo! News

So take THAT all you other cities, with your buzzards!

The Second Half of the Weekend

Well, I wrote about the first half of the weekend on O.B. - so in the interest of equal time, here's the second half. You like how I do that? Split the weekend so I have a little for this one, a little for that one. That takes skill, you know. Skill and know how - and I have them both in SPADES! (Omigod. Totally cracking myself up!)

So, on Sunday, after the battle royal to get Max to Hebrew School (which I should probably call Religious school, since they don't really learn Hebrew yet...) the kids and I went to go play tennis w/J and his daughter. It went really well. She is really cute and sweet and my boys love her & were totally vying for her attention. Actually, J and his daughter were defintely the cool ones. I was relegated to ball fetcher. Kinda nice to sit back & watch others do the work, though!

As we're getting into the car Max goes: "Daddy has a girlfriend!" "Oh, yes? What makes you think that?" "Well, I heard her say on the phone that she was at the zoo with her boyfriend, and I knew she was with Daddy... so...." "Oh, I see." "And I asked Daddy - and he said yes."

When I talked to X about it today he said that then Max said to him: "Why didn't you tell me earlier?!?" And then went around tellng all the kids at McDonalds that "My Daddy has a girlfriend!"

There's no figuring these kids.

But, it was a great day, everybody seemed to feel comfortable, and I finally had the chance to see another part of J's life... which I never really get a chance to. Not that I feel kept out... but when you don't see a person's home, or their things.... it's a huge part of them. Just wait 'til October - when he moves! (I'll report back about any strange stuff he might have!)

Sooo tired by the end of the day, long day Saturday, up early for bloody Religious Education on Sunday, then out in the sun, all day Sunday... But so nice

Alternative Income Stream my butt!

"Stream of Income?" I don't know. I don't talk like that. I'm a social worker fer crying out loud! (And isn't THAT an awaful stereotype?! Just because I'm a non-profit do-gooder should NOT mean I know nothing about the business world! I'll have to do a cost benefit analysis of that...)

The point of this, though, is I just checked my google "Ad-Sense" account. THe one where I'm supposed to be making money for my chidrens' college education, my trip to the Bahamas, etc...

Easy money, right.

THree months: $2.69.

As the client who repeatedly asked me if she should send in her claim form to be part of a class action suit ("Shoud I send it in? Will I get money." "I don't know. I can't tell you. You have to make the decision." "But what should I do?" "I don't know. I can't tell you." "But..." You get the picture.) She said: "Well, a millionaire it won't make me."

Guys on vacation equal Mancations - Yahoo! News

Guys on vacation equal Mancations - Yahoo! News

Ick.

What to do, what to do, what to do...

So last week I posted either here or on other blog (don't I wish there was some automatic thingy that would make a link to "other blog" each time I wrote it out. Or maybe I should just assume that the same people read this all the time & they know the other blog already, and are saying to themselves: "we KNOW the other blog already - will you jsut stop linking to it!?!?" Maybe they do. Maybe I should. Or maybe not.) about Max's old sitter... I'll caller ES (for Ex-sitter, get it?)

She was Max's sitter from when he was about 6 months - when I first went back to work - 'til he was about 18 months or so (when Nathan was born). She was my Uncle's girlfriend, and a social worker - so I had a pretty high level of trust in her, and that made it easier to leave my first born for the first time.

BUT - I didn't like leaving him, she kept saying .... welllll.... kinda strange stuff - like how she would like to rub the lotion on him... how it was sensual... and how she brought him to Sears for his first portraits (ones with her!) when I had been planning to do it... letting him jump on the couch when he was just learning to walk and was so unsteady on his feet.... stuff like that. Not MAJOR alert the authorities stuff... but - well - things that make you go "huh?" (I should mention that she has bi-polar... which I'm not sreally sure how much it figures into it or not. I figured it's controlled with medication... so it's fine... but I think her ssense of boundaries and impulse control are probably not the best.)

THen, through the years she has helped me out - but even though she said she "loved" both boys, really favored Max, would buy them (not age appropriate) presents, and if I would say "this isn't appropriate" would say to them: "You Mom says no."

I'd call her up: "Please - no more toys." "Please - no more candy." "No, you may not take Max down to the subway platform to watch the trains." "Please, please, please stop buying them things!" She gave the kids no boundaries, no guidlines - and when I questioned her on this she said "that comes from you - not me, I'm here for fun." And so, so so many things that I would hear that made me question her judgement. And I always, always, always felt ....well... just kinda uncomfortable. Like Max was everything to her. Her world. She'd tell me how she thought about him on her vacation, how all her friends know about him.... and just leave me feeling ever more uncomfortable.

So, in June some time I get a call from the kids regular sitter: "Amy, ES was supposed to pick up Max from the bus, but I see him here with somebody else." I call ES "Yes, I made a mistake. I was late on the subway, panicked & called this woman!" (The woman, incidentally, would NEVER be somebody I would leave my children with.)

When I called ES to talk about it, she wouldn't talk - then left a message asking why I'm not nice to her, that she doesn't deserve it, etc, etc. And she's right. I've been keeping this anger at her in for such a long time. So many times I've wanted to end this - but feel sorry for her, or the Greek Chorus saying "YOu're going through a divorce, Max needs as much support as he can get..." So, against my gut I let her continue seeing him/them.

I called her back & said she was right. No more. It's not healthy for any of us. I become a mean, cold person to her - which is not fair and it's not appropriate for Max. (Jeez, I"m sorry - this is getting so long!) She sends me this letter, saying Max is a "Prince" and she will always remember their time together.

SO - this past Saturday I get a voicemail - she hopes I won't be so cruel as to keep them apart, and how she won't be able to live without him/them, and she can't believe that I really think that she is such, such a horrible person...

Can anybody say "emotional blackmail?"

I haven't called her back yet - because I have about 25 million other things swimming around in my mind... but I'm going to have to. I can either cut her off entirely, or have tightly supervised visits. THese visits would have to be with me, which would throw us right back on that treadmill again...

Crap.

Thirteen Reasons Why I Love My Job1…. I have direct contact with the people I work with. 2.... My job is to help an individual, not a company, organization, or bottom line. 3.... I work with people who are just as vested as I am. 4.... Every day is different. 5.... I get to go into different homes, and have a window in to all sorts of different lives. 6.... I hear stories of great strength and fortitude from people who have lived long, long lives. 7.... I hear stories of incredible sadness, and know that if there is any way possible, and if they will let me, I can (try to) help. 8.... That when I can't help I have a group of supportive peers who help me understand that I've done all I can. 9.... I hear stories about New York City, and how it was fifty, sixty, seventy years ago. 10.... I feel really young. :) 11.... It's a chance not to think about myself, my issues, and my problems and worry about others. 12.... I don't get paid well. (Just checking to see if you're paying attention!) 13.... I put so much time and effort into graduate school... and went through so many crappy and inappropriate jobs... that it's just so great to find where I fit. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Bang & Olufsen's Helping Hand reminds you to take meds - Engadget

Bang & Olufsen's Helping Hand reminds you to take meds - Engadget

It's SO GREAT that companies are realizing that their market for people who need to be reminded to take many medications is one that could use and afford a product like this.

I guess after a client I saw yesterday (you can read what happened here) this just kinda pisses me off. So many seniors need help with things like this, reminders to take meds seems like a minor thing - but forgetting to take one, or forgetting that you DID take one, then taking two... well... on an already fragile system. Not too good.

And people think of the "retirees" going on cruises, RV'ing through the US National Parks... and really -- it's more the exception than the rule. They are on fixed, fixed incomes in a country where things are getting increasingly expensive, where children move further and further away, and where the government support for their healthcare is dwindling.

Off my soap box. Going in the shower.

N.Y. woman wins lottery for second time - Yahoo! News

N.Y. woman wins lottery for second time - Yahoo! News

No, no - it wasn't me. But a person can dream.... And I know, I know - gotta play to win. Guess I gotta play.

Love to win...

And can I mention...

Max understands sarcasm. Yesterday when we were walking back from my picking them up from X I said something like "Boy, I'd really like that more than anything!" And Max looked at me and said: "you really mean the opposite of what you said, don't you?" I was astounded! I told him that yes, I actually did, and explained that I was being sarcastic.

I don't know what I was more impressed with - the fact that he understood the whole "opposite" thing (like my way with words?) or that he had the intuition to get it.