Thirteen Things about My High School Years that Make me Smile (not wince) at their memory. (I guess enough time has passed...) 1…. Being old enough to take advantage of "Open Campus" and actually leaving the school grounds during the school day. (On a free period. Of course. Not when I'd have class! Never do that!) 2... Walking down the street singing Baba O'Reily (The Who) w/H. (Nope, not wincing yet!) 3... Laughing hysterically w/H. about pygmies getting hit on the head with pieces of the falling Skylab. (Remember that?) And how they'd have to wear skylab crash helmets. 4... Sneaking out the side door at school and drinking "surprise" which was soda in a soda bottle mixed with some sort of alcohol. 5.. Sniffing Rush in Mrs. McPartland's biology class. ("Will you kids stop sniffing whatever it is you're sniffing back there and pay attention!" And this was at a nice suburban school - can you say: "What a different time?!?" What do you think a teacher would do NOW?! 6... Writing my term paper on Radical Groups of the 60's, and wishing oh so much that I was a teenager back then... 7... Daydraming about Jim Morrison.... 8... Daydreaming about Mick Jagger... 9... Getting tickets through the ticket lottery for the Rolling Stones concert ("Still LIfe" I think) with Maggie and sitting with her while she was tripping on two (not one, but two) hits of mescaline. (She had taken one before and it "did nothing" so why not take two when she's with ME?!) 10. Maggie getting 100% on her English exam the next day(I did NOT) while she was up all night still tripping. 11... Putting my "Question Authority" pin on my bag and feeling soooo cool.... 12... Seeing Al Pacino on stage in American Buffalo... ahhhh Al Pacino... 13... Having a crush on R.M. the entire four years of high school (and ok, actually a little beyond. But I'm over it now. Really.). Never talking to him 'til senior year when he started to date a friend of mine... Leading me to understand why they call it a "crush." Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Oh, my aching brain...

So if any of you have read over there X has told me that he will no longer pay what we agreed upon was his share of child care. He reduced it by a few hundred. Plus made a few other cuts. I told him I don't agree, and he said he's getting an attorney.

He said that I am "selfish" "illogical" "greedy" and obviously don't care at all about his "standard of living." Yep. That's what he said. He doesn't want to deal with my selfishness for the next 20 years.

Funny, because all I'm asking for is the state mandated minimum.

And I'm sorry if it makes life difficult for him - but the other way makes life difficult for ME - and that in turn makes life difficult for the kids.... Soooo... well given that equation, I guess the three of us come out ahead.

But of course, in true X fashion he sent me another email last night with a new negotiation figure. After he said he would not negotiate any more. I'm realizing that what he wants is a guarantee that what I spend on child care won't go above a certain number - so that he will know what he's in for. He wants certainty. But then, don't we all? And I don't know what I'm going to find in terms of child care - and I don't know how much it's going to cost.... so how can I agree to that?

He's so inconsistent & really doesn't know what he wants himself... just that he wants to feel secure with his money.

Part of me so wants to just hand this all over to an attorney... just sit back and let that person take care of it all... But another part doesn't want to go that route... the anger, the mistrust, the non-communication - the possible involvement of the kids... also, of course there's the money. But shit - we've probably spent that much with all the mediation. Glad that was money put to good use. At least most of it was from our joint funds...

I'm going to call an attorney today - but also have to think of all the repercussions... pro and con.

I really, really, REALLY just want all this shit to be overwith already.

It's the Great Pumpkin!

Swing on a star...

Sometimes it's just amazing to me just how many mood swings I can go through in a day. Even without PMS! (Although.... hang on.....ok. Maybe a little bit of PMS - but still!)

Woke up this morning with that anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had emailed X the day before, telling him that if he's living with his girlfriend I would like more for child support because 1) He will not be spending as much; 2) I will need to hire a sitter if he cannot take the children on Wednesdays.

So I was a little anxious about hearing back from him. I don't usually take the bull by the horns like that... you know - take the aggressive/assertive stance.

Then he sends me back this email - telling me how he will not pay more than $300 for child care (after Sept 2007) will only pay $500 per chlld for camp, etc, etc, etc.

Well, it totally knocked me for a loop. What am I going to do? How am I going to deal with this? I CAN'T deal with it... I'm just going to have to get a lawyer...

Then I'm out, walking to a client, and I realize: Hey - we've already drafted an agreement. WHat he wants are CHANGES. *I* am in the power seat. He wants changes to the status quo and it is up to me to grant them. Or not. OR - if I don't, it is up to HIM to hire an attorney...

If I want, I can fight him about getting more - but at this point I don't think I have to worry about getting anything less. I'm not sure if a draft of an agreement is enforceable.... but if he starts just doing his own thing in terms of payments... well, even he would know that's not Kosher.

So, by the time I get back to my office, I'm feelin' kinda good. I mean, really -- my life right now *is* so good. I love my job. I love my boyfriend. I love my kids. I have good friends, I do fun things. I make a difference.

Now if only somebody would come with a bag of oranges & tend to X... things would be nearly perfect.

As I was saying....

Well, as I was saying on the other blog, actually - X is moving in with his girlfriend. So I'm pretty much ok with it. At least I am in terms of the him moving on with his life aspect of it - but as I wrote HERE -and here (and there will be more, I promise!) there are a whole host of other issues that are bugging me about this.

So one of the things I've been thinking about is the whole when do the new boyfriends/girlfriends stay over? Or the whole sleeping arrangement thing. So far X has been sleeping in his girlfriend's bed - with the two kids - when they come over & she sleeps on the couch. THat can't last.

And probably my kids are two young to really understand the whole thing... (sex and all, I mean) but why do I feel so self conscious about it? Like I"m thinking - ok, once they see me in bed (sleeping, just sleeping!) with J - then that is when the trrauma will start! That is when they will think "My Dad is gone." I don't know. I don't know where that comes from. Because logically I understand that once they get to know the boyfriend/girlfriend it should progress naturally/organically... and seeing the person in the bed should NOT be anything but natural.

(And I was then, of course worrying about the whole sex before marraige thing - and "don't do what I do, do what I say." But H. reminded me I can just say: "No sex until you are a grown-up." WHich is probably much more realistic. So that helped me out of that potential moral morass.)

I wrote to X that we need to (should, I wrote should - not need too! Need to would be far to directive and nagging!!) talk about the sleeping arrangements - once he moves in w/his girlfriend. But now I'm thinking that maybe I'm really just putting up roadblocks for him & that isn't so important.

I don't know - this whole divorce/post divorce life is just too confusing for me. And also, I know myself - I think, think, over think, and then think again about stuff that should just be left well enough alone. And in the process, make myself just a wee bit crazy. And in terms of everything else, maybe this should just be put on the back burner for a while...

MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME

1. FIRST NAME? Amy
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Don't think so - Hebrew name after my Dad's mom, though.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Wednesday
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? absolutely NOT
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDSWITH YOU? Are you kidding? We'd be BFF!!
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Ummm - this? And this
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No, no a thousand times, NO
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Hmmm, I like Lucky Charms, but mostly just the marshmallows... otherwise some granola-y sort of cereal... I usually mix a bunch of them together. Like lotsa stuff in each spoonful!
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Not unless I'd pull a muscle trying to get them off otherwise.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Mentally/emotionally - yes - physically - not so much. (Although I'm stronger than I look! Remember, I was the ONLY one helping X move - and you know he would have called the strongest person he knows to help him, right?
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Hmm, pistachio, or ginger, or... well - like the cereal I love icecream with lotsa stuff in it, too - like chocolate cookie thin mint oatmeal raisin... You get the idea.
14. WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE? 4.5-5
15. RED OR PINK? Now I want to know why this has to be an either or... different colors for different circumstances, I say! But, I suppose, if pressed.... ummm... pink.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU? my thighs!
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Sarah, Linda, Maggie ...
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Jeans; black socks
20. LAST THING YOU ATE? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The Replacements - Let it Be.
22. If YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? steel grey
23. FAVORITE SMELL? Hmmm, can't say I have one. They're mood based, I think.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE. The C-Town Delivery Man - wanting to know if he had the Halloween Candy and yogurt I bought - and when he was going to bring them over.
25 THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? their smile
27. FAVORITE DRINK? Ice Cold Beer on hot summer night/day, hot chocolate on cold day, hot tea when feeling a bit under the weather.
28. FAVORITE SPORT? Does this count as a sport?
29. EYE COLOR? hazel
30. HAT SIZE? Do people still do that? No idea. I do know I have a very tiny head...
31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope.
32. FAVORITE FOOD? lobster.
33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings - without a doubt.
34. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? black
35. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summersummersummer!!!
36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO DO IN LIFE? Spending time with my family, with J....
37. FAVORITE DESSERT? Hmmm, apple pie ala mode or cheesecake.

Same on the other blog

This is me.

"You're such a Mom!"

Those were almost the first words my friend S. said to me when I stepped onto her (and her boyfriend's) 82 foot mega-yacht.

S. and I have known each other for nearly 20 years. We worked together when we were both in our mid-twenties to mid -thirties at a non-profit student exchange organization. I made most of my "best" friends there - and those years were some of the best - and wildest- of my life. We went out nearly every night, flirted our butts off, felt totally full of ourselves and generally had a great time. (Of course you DO know I'm leaving out the bits about 1) having no money living in NYC working at a non-profit; 2) Being hung over every other day; 3) waiting, waiting, waiting, pining and waiting for that guy to call...; and dealing with the 4) But why DIDN'T he call?!?! -- RIght? You know that? This is only about the good parts of that part of my life. Don't ruin it by bringing up reality, ok?!?)

S. met her current boyfriend about 8 or so years ago, and moved away. We haven't seen each other in about 4, and in that time I've done birthed two babies, graduated from graduate school, and ended a marriage. She, on the other hand, has been flying the globe in her boyfriend's private plane, going on amazing trips, and living in this new mega-yacht for about 6 months out of each year.

I wish there was some way to describe this ship to truly do it justice- all wood and granite, three floors (did I mention there's a captain, first mate and stewardess!) three bedrooms (master and two guest) kitchen, living room.... you get the picture. So, so, so beautiful...

But, when I got on the boat & she saw my necklace (It's of two kids, kinda holding hands, I guess) that's when she made the comment -- and honestly I wasn't really sure how to respond. "Yes, I am" I guess would have been the most appropriate... but - the awe of the boat, being helped on by a captain and first mate, the whole.... amazingdreamlikesplendor of the whole thing (ok, that came on later, when we were on our third bottle of wine - but still!)

And I wasn't upset about the comment, although it's obviously stuck in my mind... I miss my friend a lot - even more after spending time with her the other night. And maybe seeing how her life is mostly made up of cruising, cocktail parties, and museums.... well - just made me realize how much of her life I don't understand and how much of mine she doesn't, either. (Which could also be because neither of us has had a good chunk of time to talk to each other in such a long time! Cruising an Momming - the biggest time suckers!)

And not that there's anything wrong with that - because actually our lives were vastly different before -- and I don't really know that there's a point to this post, except for me to kind of get these thoughts out...

But I think I also kinda realized that even though I might be pretty jealous of parts of her life (especially the walk in closet with the chest of drawers inside!) I think we're both really well suited for where we are. She is totally suited for this lifestyle - can handle it without becoming overwhelmed... and I -- well, really - if I wasn't "such a mom" would I ever even WEAR such a cheesy necklace?!?

(Don't answer. Rhetorical.)

Thirteen Things that I don't like, that annoy me, that bug me, that irk me, and just piss me off - even when I'm not PMSing - the big things and the really inconsequential little ones, too.1…. When you wash your hands at a public bathroom you usually have to reach up a bit to get a paper towel, causing the water to drip down your arms! 2..... People who stop on the top of the subway steps to finish their cell phone conversations before they go underground - causing others who are going down to go around them, and then blocking the people who want to come up. 3.... People who wait until the last minute on a check out line to get their change out... then count out all their change to pay for their items. 4.... People who use other people's pet peeves in order to get the requisite 13. 5.... Jews for Jesus (You can't be Jewish and believe that Jesus is the messiah, and will you get the heck out of my face!) 6.... People who talk louder to non-English speakers. They're not deaf, they just don't speak English! 7.... People who call Bono "Bono" (think Sonny Bono). 8.... People who take themselves way too seriously and get irked by people who call Bono "Bono" (ala Sonny Bono). 9.... Tom Cruise. 10.... Fanatics of any kind: vegetarian/PETA, religious, political.... 11.... People who try to get into the subway car before we've all left. Come on, guys, the train isn't going to leave - just give us the space to get out, ok?!? 12.... Reverse snobs - Why do you automatically hate that guy just because he works on Wall Street? YOu know nothing about him, except that he's wearing a suit. And you live in the East Village, but hey, there's no friggin' way you're a starving artist - because rents there are higher than they are here! 13.... Loud, obnoxious, cigar smoking drunk men in suits. (Oops!) Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Traffic

wcbstv.com - Video Library

We were stuck in traffic Sunday - absolute total standstill traffic for FOUR HOURS - because of this accident....

While we were sitting there, dying to use a toilet (we all ended up in the woods off the side of the road) we cursed the people who caused this... all the while reminding each other that they were in an accident & probably much worse off than we were....

Total Vent

Please forgive the absolutely positively exhautedly tired, probably rambly, total vent -- but I can see I'm not going to be able to get to sleep without getting this out. I'm so pissed off....

You guys know how I met w/X about three weeks ago to go over our mediation agreement. He bugged me, nagged me & pushed me to set up the date - saying that if I couldn't find somebody to stay with the kids then he would have his girlfriend stay w/them, etc, etc...

So, we met & he was all: "We have to get this resolved right away..." He made some suggestions/changes, etc that I said I had to think about. We agreed that HE would type up an email to the mediator with our ideas. Ok. Two days come & go after our meeting & he hasn't typed anything. SO - I type up a recap & how I feel about stuff & actions we need to take.

About a week later he asks me: "Any thoughts on what we discussed? Time is money, you know!" I told him that I had sent him an email, and he should read it.

Two weeks go by - I hear nothing. I email him this past weekend: What the heck is going on? Why is he not responding? Let's get going w/this....

He emails back one thing: "The sticking point is the $300 per month maximum in daycare, etc. Until that is resolved everything is moot, right."

He doesn't address ANYTHING ELSE in this LONG email that I sent, he has not answered ANY questions that I asked, or ANYTHING!!!

Plus, does he really fucking think that $300 per month is enough for child care for two children?!?! WTF?!??!?! By LAW he is supposed to pay pro-rata for child care. Since I saw how much he was paying for child support, knew what sort of bills he had to pay, and how much he was earning, I said that we did not have to do the pro-rata thingy & let him contribute $800/month for child care & agree to not contribute to extra-currics until Sept '07 - when both kids will be in public school & we won't need full time child care.

I totally gave in on everything, but like I said - I saw his reality & it wouldn't be in anybody's interest to bankrupt him.... and figured that if I wanted to do extra-currics... well.... I just would. (ALthough both parents are legally responsible for contributing pro-rata to that, too.) And figured the amount it would cost me would still be less than an attorney to fight it.

But now, if he's gonna stick on this.... and not just go to the pro-rata as of Sept '07..... shit I don't know what to do. It seems so crazy to go to a lawyer now - after we're 99% done!

He so doesn't see it. He sees it that I"m just taking all his money. But what he doesn't know is that I could be oh so much worse... (And when I mentioned that to him one time he was like: 'listen, I earn more, I have a full time job (which was then - not now!) and I can take custody of the kids! So don't start talking like you're the "good" one - I could go for more, too..." Yes, it's truly amazing the way his mind works, isn't it?

This divorce is as much of a friggin' nightmare as the marriage... although yes, I know, it could be worse... I'm lucky that he's so "good" to me.

A Spork With an Added Edge - New York Times

A Spork With an Added Edge - New York Times

Now, THIS is cool - cooler than the Cozi, and much cooler than the stuff in the One Step Ahead catalogues....

Thirteen Things that my kids have done, just today, that made me smile1…. Thinking they could prevent a punishment by telling me what they did wrong from the distance of our fifth floor balcony. 2.... Watching tv on the couch - standing on their heads. 3.... Singing along to Elton John on the Muppet Show - playing toy guitars. 4.... Telling me that he wants to tell his first grade teacher that my mom's cousin is going to jail. (Yes, he is. Federal. 18 months. X told him - I wouldn't have.) 5.... Telling me: "Boo Yankees! Yea Mets!" 6.... Insisting that I sit with them on the couch to watch Beeker's Hair pop off - and laugh hysterically each time we watch it. 7.... Talking about the boy in the playground who was wearing a Red Power Ranger Costume... and could I get them one? 8.... Thinking that I'd really have thirteen things I could list. 9.... Telling me the story of Christopher Columbus, then singing, under his breath, the "Columbus on the Ocean Blue" not thinking I can hear him. 10.... Telling me that he has packed plastic spiders, vampire bats, and tarantulas, upon hearing that my sister will be sharing a room with us on our weekend away this weekend - knowing how she is SO scared of spiders.... (Wait. Could I make that sentence any more awkward? Awkwarder? Aardvark? Sorry. Too tired.) 11.... Nathan telling me that his teacher said I can't send in popcorn for lunch, and how he does NOT want yogurt, it's too much - and could I PLEASE make sure to include the Scooby Fruit Roll-ups - NOT the other fruit roll ups. The Scooby ones. 12.... Going to sleep with the fan on, even though it's like 50 degrees out - and putting the fans RIGHT NEXT TO their heads - so that their hair is blowing back like they're dogs with their heads stuck out a window. 13.... They fell asleep together, in the same bed. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Cozi

Cozi

I don't know... this seems kinda cool.....

Sometimes life's good...

Today when I came home from work Max said to me: "I'm going to do a book report." "Huh? What?" "I did one today in school, and I'm going to do one now." And he got a book, got his "Book Report" notebook, sat down, read the book and wrote about it. Complete with the "moral of the story."

Is this my son?!?

I remember last year at this time when I was getting notes from his teacher: "Max isn't behaving." "Max won't sit down." "I"m putting Max on a "behavioral" plan." And every day I had to read and sign a report about his behavior. And at home, he would be all over the place, each evening was a battle.

Now he's just so much more..... settled. I mean, ok, he still jumps off the back of the couch, but....

And the tennis lessons - I have never seen him so involved and excited about something! He is totally owning it, practices it, enjoys it.... Ahhhhh....

Is this what it's like when they get older?

Nathan.... well - he's doing really well, too. My mom was really great the other day when she asked me why Nathan has so many gender issues? Like why does he say he wants to be a girl? I said it's probably his age... or else maybe he's a transexual. My mom was all: "Well, we need to nip that in the bud!" "Umm, mom - either he is, or he isn't." To which she replied that she did NOT believe that, and that I should find somebody for him to talk to.

Maybe my $100/session shrink?

And J - well J has moved into his new apt - and I went there yesterday. Sorry to report, nothing really strange there to talk about... He does have a gorgeous painting that was done by his daughter - it's amazing... and not too much else of note. But he's still moving stuff in, so I'll keep you all posted.

He gave me a key to his new place. (Hear the trumpets?!?!) I'm on a quest to find an open locksmith (why are they always closed when I try to go? Is it me?) so I can make copies of mine.

THe kids have stayed over at X's girlfriend's two times already. Once on the weekend, and again last night. They sleep in her bed (hope she has plastic sheets!) and she sleeps on the couch.

From all reports (from the kids) she really seems very nice. They've been talking and talking about her. You know X - he's not really much of a "giver." And I get the sense that Janet is. And the kids know it, and are responding to it. And I don't even mean material stuff.... but even just how she is responding to them. And to X. I mean, she's already invited him to move in with her if he doesn't get a job by end of October.

So, all that's pretty good.

Just don't ask me about money.

Quiet Contemplation & a big, big mouth.

So today is Yom Kippur. The holiest day of the Jewish year, a day where we fast, ask G-d for forgiveness, and just kinda sit with ourselves & think.

I, of course, was outside with the kids for much of it (it being the synogogue service). THey would not go to the "kids" room - so after the family service and sitting in the "big people's service" for about 1/2 hr - we went outside.

The problem about fasting with kids... is imagine if you might generally have a short fuse... Right. THen think of that with no food. Uh huh. Yup. Just like that.

I've spent most of the day today sleeping - it's the best way to get through it. But I have to say, I do think it's something everybody should do: go through one day without food or drink. It won't kill you, but it sure as shit will make you realize how it feels (on a small, small scale) to go hungry. And to go hungry and NOT have the luxury to sleep. I simply cannot imagine doing anything even slightly more taxing than this...

So, I told you all about most of my week last week - but didn't talk about Friday night. I went out w/J on Friday. Now, I don't know if you've picked this up - but J and I have gone out for nearly seven months and have not had ONE fight. That's right. Not a one. I wouldn't say Friday was a fight... it wasn't. But it was intense.

It started by my asking if he wanted to come pumpkin picking with the kids & I. ANd my parents. ANd he could bring his daughter, if he wanted.

Then it just opened up this whole thing about him telling his kids about me... and me... well... me just being so darn impatient for this to be... I don't know what. But to be. I love being with him so much - I feel so good when I'm with him -- that as I actually explained it to him - that he's become an addiction! Must. Have. More. Must. Have. Unfettered Access. (Like that word? Unfettered? Not often I get to use that word. I'd like to thank J for giving me the opportunity!) :)

And you wanna know the kind of freaky thing?!? Much of the "stuff" that came out of me was stuff that had been lurking in the back of my brain.. you know, the stuff you think of to yourself -- but say: "It's ok that I think this to myself. But it should only be to myself. Not for the general public." Yep. That sort of stuff. It came out. How does that happen? I mean, it was stuff that I had thought through and negated. To myself. But all of a sudden: poof! There it was! Out on the table! Ack!! WHERE ARE MY FILTERS?!?!?

So so totally my bad. The poor guy has more than enough to deal with - moving out of a house and a relationship that was twice as long (and probably much better)than mine, kids that are older that require a different sort of handling, and having to negotiate his new living and custody arrangements. Not a pack of easy stuff.

Then to have me in the background... "well, you should tell them soon!" ANd part of it was for him - and them - to have ample processing time. And part of it was purely and simply me - thinking of me.

Don't worry. I'm not going to totally beat myself up over it. I am only human, after all. (Maybe it was a reaction to spending my entire day running around thinking not at all of myself (and my aching feet) and getting rent money for a client...) And I did appologize. And we did talk it out.

But still, it sucked to have stressed him out even more, and it sucked to have that kinda tense feeling that we hadn't yet experienced (that yes, yes, I know we will....)

But, kinda nice to have the fight "test run" to see how it goes... And I suppose... also... kinda good to have all the stuff outta my head... (more room for all the other crap!)

Hin's Tech Corner

Hin's Tech Corner

Owwwww

You know, people have told me about migraine headaches - but I never really REALLY knew what they were like until this past Wednesday night.

All day Wednesday I felt kinda.... off. Slightly headache-y & like I was coming down with something. Also really tired. I figured it was just a hold over from the night before and that I'd catch up with my sleep when I got home. The kids were w/X and J coming over later.

Didn't happen. I was in the middle of making the kids' lunch when all of a sudden: Must Lie Down Right Now. And there I stayed for the next hour - alternatively sweating and shivering, feeling like I was going to be sick, head hurting so badly that I just thought it would pop off.

Then, by about 9:30 or so, it was fine.

So in reading up about migraines, I find out that they occur most frequently in women between the ages of 35 - 45 - because that is the time in their lives when they "do the most" - kids, job, etc.

"... migraine headaches are more common in women. In fact, about three out of four people who have migraines are women. They are most common in women between the ages of 35 and 45; this is often a time that women have more job, family, and social commitments. Women also tend to report higher levels of pain, longer headache time, and more symptoms, such as nausea and vomiting.
Hormones may also trigger migraine. Over half of women with migraine report having them right before, during, or after their period. Others get them for the first time when taking birth control pills. And some women start getting them when they enter menopause."

So, I pretty much fall into all the categories. Granted I've been under lots of stress for at least the past oh, two, three, four, five, six.... seveneightnineten years - one could argue that Tuesday night was especially stressful - plus I had just gotten my period, plus just started a new birth control. Plus lets not forget the mice. Never had mice before.

By the time J was over - I was pretty much fine... but I tell you -- the fear that I would get another was horrible! Hope to hell it doesn't happen again.

And now you know...

... the rest of the story. Or maybe not if you didn't read my other half. (I'm workin' it. I'm workin the two blog thing - as if you couldn't tell!)

So, my cousin's husband goes: "I find it so funny how you have two active boys!" And I was like "Yeah, I always thought I'd have two, quiet little bookish girls..."

And it's true. They are a lot. Little energizer bunnies.... Always in competition with each other, and at the same time very fiercely loyal. It's always a learning experience to just watch.

But, I'm always thinking that - well - I'm a woman. I'm a woman, and not a horribly athletic or adventurous woman (well, not those sorts of outdoorsy, mountain climbing, heights jumping, tightrope walking sort of adventures.) And yes, of course they have a Dad... but let's face it - one night a week and every other weekend... not so much.

SO - very long way of saying that this past weekend was so nice because I realized how many MALE relatives I have, and how all my male relatives have GIRLS and how they LOVE to play with my BOYS! It was perfect!

My boys were thrown, rolled, karate kicked, ninja punched, boxed, summer saulted, and flipped for nearly two days straight. They call my mom's cousin "madman" (which I secretly think he likes!), love talking to my mom's brother about how he was a soldier, talking to my mom's other brother about tennis... etc, etc, etc

Just kinda drove home the whole "It Takes a Village" idea... made me appreciate my family all the more and saved me a few ninja bruises, as well!