Sunday, May 27, 2007

Ok, so it's all ok


You know, I use this blog (and the other blog) to do a lot of complaining and venting. And lately (ok, maybe mostly, maybe mostly always) it's been about X. Butcha know, I've been thinking.....

I've been going to this new shrink. My old one was very Freudian. Did not talk. This one talks -- and I'm finding I like the talking. It gives me a window into the things I have going RIGHT in my life... how I'm actually pretty ok. And yes, probably the silent shrink helped me well along to my place of relative ok-ness.... but now this is good, too.

I was telling her about X & his girlfriend, and me and J & she said "you know, you're very lucky - very often girlfriends or step parents can not like the kids. Or be jealous." Hmmm, I thought. Yes, I suppose I'm very lucky about that. We're all pretty ok. Yesterday X and his girlfriend came to the boys little league game. It wasn't their weekend to have the kids and X (yes, X!!!) got up early and got there! And ok, I could have done without it... but it was so great for the kids!

And then Shrink told me how it was so great how the kids were so willing to accept J and X's girlfriend. How they were so comfortable with them, showing affection to them. She said "They must have been raised with a lot of love and security -- so that they are so willing to show it to others, and have no fear that it won't be returned." Do you know HOW GOOD that made me feel?!? You get so bogged down - especially with this whole divorce thing - with wondering if you're doing the right things.... kids are ok.... etc, etc.... And ok - you get report cards, you see them for yourself... but you know the parental eye is only SO unbiased....

Then yesterday we were at a pool club with J's family (his parents, sister, neices...) and my kids were so comfortable with them - Max running over to J's parents to tell them what he just did in the pool. And I saw it again. You know, the biggest thing "they" say that can happen to kids post-divorce is that they feel it's their fault. They become reserved. Guilty.

Ahhhh, it just felt so good.