Friday, February 29, 2008

THIS is the part of parenting that I hate

Max has a stomach ache. No other symptoms. Just. A. Stomach Ache. It has been pretty much been going on since last week - but more constant now. And the difficult thing is, the no other symptoms part. If there was fever: a virus. Vomiting? A virus. This? Nothing. He's fine otherwise.

And when my son has a stomach ache does he suffer quietly? Does he moan, quietly, in his room? Right. You know he doesn't. "MOM! It hurts!" (Yeah. That's what stomach aches do.) "MOM! I have a stomach ache?" (Really? You have a stomach ache? I had no idea!!!) "MOM!!!!" (Yeah. That's what they call me.)

Sympathy just oozes from my pores. I know.

But seriously. He's had this for a few days with no other symptoms. (Did I mention that already?) And yes, everybody asks: He's "regular." And I've tried to find out if something is wrong @ school... or something - but he claims not. And he's a talker, he's not much for keeping things in (he's like me - probably be set up with his own blog in a year or so!) so I don't think that it's stress, or something like that.

And, I believe him. I don't think it's a ploy.

We stayed home from school/work on Wednesday & I brought him to the Dr. Dr felt for appendicitis, felt for "masses" (thanks, Doc - my mind didn't even GO to that place - so thanks for giving me something else to worry about!) etc. There was nothing obviously wrong. He asked a bit about diet & bathroom habits. Then he said that he was going to prescribe a "muscle relaxant" - that's been around since he was a kid. Fine. I asked if it would make him drowsy, he said probably not - "at this dose."

I get home from drug store. Open the bag. See the name of the medication on the bottle: "Belladonna/Phenobarbitol" !!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't Belladonna that, like, poisonous plant? And phenobarbitol... a BARBITUATE! For my little boy?!?!? I couldn't bring myself to give it to him. I felt it was like shooting a rabbit with an uzi (or something like that.)

So I figured - let me really really watch his diet. Keep it clean. Have him eat only very bland foods & see what happens. He goes to X's Wed night. I tell X - "Bland foods" He was going to take them for pizza. I say: "Bland foods" He gives Max soft boiled egg. With pepper. I say "Bland foods" he gives Max bologna with mayo for lunch.


And oh. Max's stomach was hurting after breakfast at X's. X tells him "you're going to school - tell the nurse." So, who gets the call at work? After a day of missing work? Right. Luckily it was late enough in the day that the sitter was able to go over & pick Max up... otherwise I would have had to leave & miss more work.

I call X to ask him why he sent Max to school. He said Max was "bullshitting." That he's "not really sick." And I was all: "And that's not really the school nurse calling me to pick him up, either." I explained in very well thought out words why he cannot send a child who is yelling and screaming with a stomach ache to school. AND - (because I know X gave this so much thought) how it impacted ME. I touched on the bologna & the bland food issue, too... but talking to a brick wall isn't my favorite thing to do.


So I gave Max the (evil) med last night & am keeping him home today. Dr. said to call two days after he's on the med to see what's what. If it still hurts he's going to have to go for "tests" etc.

BUT, BUT, BUT!!! Big news! For the First. Time. EVER my parents are taking the kids overnight!!! Tonight! There is a Walter Wick (I Spy Books) exhibit at a museum near their house & they want to take them... so they're picking them up after school... And the kids are willing to do it! (The mention of Pokemon cards had absolutely NOTHING to do with that! I promise you!) So, we'll see. They might keep them the whole weekend... but we'll see how it goes.

So that part's ok.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

My 400th Post!

Yep. Scary, isn't it. Of course some aren't real "posts" some are articles, videos, etc, etc.... so I think we can chop a good 25 or so off the number. So I'll get back to you when it's 425.

Hmm... that was entertaining, wasn't it?

Question: When does a divorced mother have a weekend with out her kids and yet spend most of her days with them? Answer: When she is divorced from X.

Well, honestly, to be fair I don't know that he could have done this without me. And J. Both boys had Little League practice on Saturday. In two different places. (X didn't take Nathan to the one the week before... don't ask....) So I offered X for J & I to take Max to his practice & X take Nathan. Then Sunday Nathan was invited to a birthday party out on Long Island... X doesn't have a car... and I knew he would not bother himself to find somebody to give them a ride. SO - J once again generously helped. We took Nathan to the party.

And yeah, well, I realized something about myself. When I was with X I was always bothered how he never did anything for me. It was all about him. And when we split, and I was dating again one thing I put in my JDate profile was that I was looking for somebody who would "think of me as much and as often as he thinks of himself."

So I found J. Who is wonderful. Who is thoughtful. Who totally went out of his way, got up earlier, drove many more miles for me. For my kids. And it made me crazy. I felt so badly. So guilty. I was taking up his time. I using up his gas. He was forced to go to a party for five year olds... how awful for him. He didn't get to sleep late.... I can go on, but I'm sure you get the gist.

Issues much?

Gah! So we kind of talked about it & he was like "ummm... this is what we do for each other..." And I KNOW that.. but I don't. (You know, that dichotomy thing mentioned in the previous "I'm so neurotic" post. Should tag these things...) He even point blank said to me: "I will tell you if/when it's too much. It's not. Don't worry."

Ahhh.... I can hear my shrink: "We have lots of work to do, here, young grasshopper..."