Friday, February 15, 2008

So sad...

I've mentioned before - either in this blog or in my old one - about a woman who lives in my building. She is a single mom and has a daughter the same age as Max. This woman has no boundaries. She says horribly innappropriate things. All the time.

Lately we've been on the same morning schedule. We all bump into each other in the elevator. For some reason I have offended her & she has been pointedly ignoring me. Which is fine. Except that a few weeks ago it kinda freaked out my kids as I was YELLING to get her to answer a question as to whether the bus has come or not. Imagine: She is about 10 feet away from me. I am asking her a question. SHe does not answer. I should have left it alone, simply because my kids were there -- but I didn't want to have to walk to the bus if I didn't have to... so I was just asking if it had already come... and she ignored me. Absolutely and totally.

At the bus stop all the kids play together. Tag. Hide and Seek. Except for her daughter. She keeps her close to her. THe other day, it was raining & she just said "The other kids will get sick, you stay with me under the umbrella..." the little girl looks out at the other kids & just watches them all have fun.

One time X brought the kids to the bus stop & he called me. He could not believe this woman. She came up to him: "I hear you're getting remarried. YOur old marriage was so bad you have to get married again so quickly?" He responded that his other marriage was not SO bad & that we have been apart about 4 years... He was freaked out. He quickly moved away from her.

Other times, when she used to talk to me, she would express how worried she was that she would lose her job - because she had to bring her daughter to the bus stop. And how horrible it would be if she lost her job. And how horribly difficult it is to get ready in the morning & get herself out to work. ALl on her own. (And yes, oh how I want to say: "but you only have ONE! I have TWO! And somehow I manage.." but I know that would not really help at all.) But imagine her daughter being there? Hearing all this? Hearing what a horrible burden she is, and how her mother might lose her job - because of her?

This morning I, again, bumped into them on the elevator. The kids were with X so I was by myself. I smiled. Mentioned again how we're on the same schedule. She starts muttering... "It's so hard. So hard being a single mom. YOu know how it is. He's so awful. I'd take him to court but it would stress me out so much I'd get a heart attack. I don't want to get a heart attack. YOu're lucky - you have it so good! Can you imagine, her father didn't call her for Valentines Day! What sort of father is that?"

I look over at the girl... my heart breaking that she has to hear all this... "But you had a good day anyhow, didn't you?" I say. Her mother responds: "Of course she did! I'm a good mother!"

But... um... she's not. I've been thinking about this all morning. I think about it a lot, actually. Because if you see physical abuse there is something you can do - somebody to call... but really. What can I do here. This is abuse. The way she is in front of this girl. The things she shares with her.

That poor girl. It just breaks my heart.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Nathan to me as we are standing wedged in the corner of a crowded train from Manhattan to Forest Hills: (Apropos, I must add - to absolutely nothing)

"Mom. I don't think the Pacifier Fairy took my pacifiers. I think you did. I think you took them and threw them out!"

To which I respond that I most certainly did NOT.

Max: Mom! You're smiling! That means you're lying!! And what about the Tooth Fairy! I know that's you! Tell me! How come you have all the teeth if you're not the tooth fairy?!?

How do people do this? How do you keep up the pretense? I'm, like, smiling from ear to ear now - trying to keep from laughing. I put on my mad face: "This is NOT the place to talk about this now! Let's talk about it later!" In the hopes that they will forget.

They did.

Great moments in parenting.

(And why is spell check not working?)

Monday, February 11, 2008

Just stuff...

So I was talking to X, asking him about his summer plans - so I could figure out the boys' camp schedule & I said "My mom told me that [your fiance] said that you guys are getting married end of August, right?" To which X replies.... "Well, nothing is concrete yet." Huh? So your fiance spent most of Nathan's party talking about this wedding... mentioned inviting us, your family & "nothing is concrete yet?" I didn't say that. I DID say: "Oh. Well. Ok. This is your thing." Oh my. That poor woman.


I have political arguments with my son. Max is very pro-Obama. And while I'm not against him, I just feel a bit more comfortable with Hilary. I feel like she's just been around a bit more - but I would most definitely be very very happy with Obama as our President.. When I ask Max why he wants Obama he says: "Well, I feel that Hilary will just be a copy of Bill. She won't have her own ideas." (I asked X if he's said this & he claims that he hasn't.) Today I said to Max: "Ok, you have only given me anti-Hilary reasons. Give me a Pro-Obama reason. Why should you/I vote for him - not why NOT TO vote for Hilary." And he said "Well, it would be cool to have the first African American president. And he seems like a nice guy."

You know - not such bad reasons.

The boys told me that their old sitter - the Brazilian one - watched them when they went to the bathroom. They told me this morning. Stopped me dead in my tracks. Apparently she would, on occasion, open the bathroom door when they were in there & tease them. I don't think it happened a lot. But enough. Enough for them to say to me that she did this. Enough for them to feel like that is what she WAS doing, even if it was innocently to check to make sure they were ok. I asked if she ever touched their privates - they said no. I (oh so VERY firmly) told them that if this EVER happens again with ANYBODY that they were to tell me - because how could I help them if I don't know.



I'm starting Nutri-System. Again. You know, I lost all this weight over the summer... but the stress started in Sept - and now I'm the heaviest I think I've ever been - (barring pregnancy.) It's scary. I don't know if it's this age thing, or what - but I'm finding it really difficult to lose. Or even not to gain! I started with Weight Watchers.. but you know - I need more structure. Nutri-System was so good because not only does it give you the exact meals. but it has a check list for breakfast/lunch/dinner & two snacks. So you know exactly what to eat. When. I need it like that. I have too many other things on my mind... this has to be easy. So, I should get the box o'food sometime within the next week or so... I'll keep ya' posted.