Saturday, April 15, 2006
I am always a bit worried that I'm not as interesting as I "used to be." Like I feel that "before kids" I could talk about most things -that I was always up on what's going on. I would read the newspaper every day! Watch the news, watch the pundits.... you know.
Now I know all the names of Thomas' engines.
Apparently there's an article that I haven't had time to read -that states that doing all the mommy things actually makes you smarter. And, there is, according to the wonderful world of google searches - a book.
But you know what - I can't speak about that - I only know about myself. And my reality. And my reality is - I come home from work and pbs kids is on. Not the McNeil Lehrer news hour.
Ok, you're saying I should cut myself a little slack - and maybe I should- past five years have been spent having two kids, getting graduate degree and ending a marriage - no small endeavors any of them.
So, today the kids are out w/the X (he called last minute, missed them & wanted to take them fishing) and I've actually read a good portion of the Times - with two hours left before they get back to read some more!
And it feels so good!
I fool myself that I keep up with the news by reading on line, but there's really nothing like sitting down and reading an actual newspaper.
I read about what's going on in Papua - although I'm a bit confused with if there is a Papua New Guinea and another one that's part of Indonesia? (Gwen?!?) I always thought New Guinea was a separate, independent country.
And how they are actually segregating schools in Nebraska?!? Making the school districts reflect the population - getting rid of bussing - so that there will be one Black, one Hispanic, and one Caucasian. And the main advocate for this is African AMerican. Now, I hope I'll be able to follow what goes on.
I don't know. I suppose as the kids are getting older, and as I'm starting to notice that I have a bit more time for myself - plus the fact that I'm actually out more with adults! (Gasp!) I just notice the gap.
Any of you experience this?
Ok, just looked it up on line. New Guinea is split. And even from looking at the map it's pretty obvious that we're just on a need to know basis about the non-Western side of the country. And probably the only reason why it enters into my consciousness at all is the antipodean (how often do you hear that word?!) connection to that part of the world.
Friday, April 14, 2006
And I'm not going to even touch the grammar thing.
Now, let's face it. We all have them. Like they say: "Everybody's a little bit racist." And don't say you don't - cause you know you do! Well, one of my things is, dare I say it -- product. Not product per se, but the use of it. And not for women - but for men. I --- um --- don't like metrosexuals. I don't like it when men use "product". Crazy. Unfair and crazy. I know.
(And this from a woman who grew up with a father who kept a can of hairspray in his glove compartment... Dr. Freud?)
So, that's how it is. Not fair, not right, not at all cool. I like my men messy and stinky. (Ok, total joke there.)
So anyhow, all of this is to lead up to say that my older son is now into chapstick. Yesterday he said "Mom, my lips are always dry - I need some chopsticks." Huh? "Yes, I need to put that on my lips." "OH - ChApstick." "Yes, my teacher says I should use it." AHA! The teacher! That traitor!!!
Ok, let's be rational here. The kid is having dry lips - what else do people with dry lips do?!?
"Umm, Max, have you tried not licking your lips?!" Blank stare.
"Ummm, Max - are they bleeding - or just uncomfortable?!" Blank stare.
So - I had to do it. Had to confront this head on. We went to the drugstore & I got him the most innocuous chap stick I could find. And it's not like I need it to be manly or anything - like "Joes tough guy chapstick." It's probably the shine. The gloss. NO vaseline!!!
He has been walking around with it. Slept with it last night, actually. My younger one has one too (obviously - one has - thus does the other.)
And I'm getting past this. Growing. Learning more about myself. THis morning he asked me how his lips looked & I told him soft and moist. Ok, that got me another well deserved blank stare - but it made ME laugh; so....
I'll let you know how I continue to do with this new facet of parenting.
The photo is of Max when he was about 2 ish & attacked another product: Balmex!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
HUUUUUUHHHH?!?!? Perhaps he should read this article that I read in my friend Gwen's Blog ... or perhaps he might want to rethink and remember everything I've said to him in the past... oh... two years.
Sometimes I really feel like I might live in a different reality. Like maybe I told this stuff to parents who have.... now wait..... go with me on this one.... been taking over by pods?!? Could that be?!?
Something to think about.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Not that we don't do stuff together -the X and I - we do. Well, less than we did before, but we still both do stuff that will actively support the kids. But this... the seder... too personal. Actually, just too much still in the family circle.
Because, ultimately you could still be friends (or friendly, I suppose) with an X - but I do think you lose the right to be an intimate: to still be a part of that family circle.
I'm still in touch with the X's family... I try to send them photos of the kids, keep them updated on what's going on with them... -- but do I tell them the family gossip? Do I still think of them as "intimates?" No. I don't. I like them - and know they'll always be around because of the kids... but that's it.
And, I've been realizing, that I've been measuring time like this: College, post-college, pre-X, X, and post- X. Those are all such distinct times in my life. Each one so different - and also *I* was so different. Each one a growth and change -- that I feel has been drastic. And, I'm thinkin' that the post college/pre-X, and post-X times have been the best. Oooh, you're saying - what does that say about your marriage?
Not a whole heck of a lot.
Things have, really, for all the chaos and tummult (is that a word?) been so good post-X. I've had enough amazing times and experiences and revelations, and feelings.... that.... well.... maybe I can't even put it into words.
And of course, it's not done yet.
Tonight's the first night of Passover. It's a great holiday, oriented towards family and food - two of my favorite things!!
If hard-pressed to give a quick explanation of the holiday, I'd say just watch The Ten Commandments. We used to have huge Passover Seders - one at my Aunt & Uncle's and one at my parents. Now it seems that our family has split - the "religious right" have one together, and the rest of us (The Looney Left?) have our own.
This year it's gotten even smaller....
Each year we do the same things - laugh at the same jokes, make the same stupid comments.... making the holiday our own. I struggle to make the seder gender neutral (instead of "and He said..." I'd say "and G-d said..." and instead of "our forefathers" it becomes "our ancestors." A futile attempt, at best - but makes me laugh.