Confronting Syphilis, Quite Candidly - New York Times

Yeah. She's a friend of mine. :)

Confronting Syphilis, Quite Candidly - New York Times

What. A. Mistake.

Right. so. X asked me to take his two dogs, Bill and Mickey, for Labor Day Weekend. Now, where I come from, Labor day weekend is Friday to Monday. Right? Yeah, well - x's trip start's tomorrow morning, so the dogs came over tonight. X forgot to tell me. Sprung it on me a week or two ago. "Oh yeah, not bringing the dogs over on Friday - bringing them on Wednesday."

Some might wonder (as I do) why I took them. I took them because my boys lovelovelove these dogs. They talk about them all the time, they love to go to X's to see them (oh, and X too...). The dogs actually belong to X's girlfriend & I told X that if they ever split up the boys need to have visitation with the dogs. They would he heartbroken if they never saw them again.

Have I mentioned that this is a pet free building?

And no, I don't know why the formatting is like this. I've given up with blogger and photos.

ANYHOW.

Mickey is about 8 months old, and Bill about a year. They're puppies. They have boundless energy. It's like having two more kids here. Now I'm sure you read in my previous post how sometimes it gets to be a bit much to be a single parent with two boys. Ok. Now two boys and two puppies.

These dogs are running all over the place, jumping on the furniture (X allows it at his place...) attack me with nips and licks every time I sit down... and I'm really a dog lover, but this is all so overwhelming to me. Especially after a full day of work. I pay attention to one dog? The other comes running over.

They've peed in my kitchen, wouldn't let the kids fall asleep... and? The X said "oh, don't worry - they'll fall asleep in your bed." WHAT?!?! He never told me that before (and I happen to know, when we were married X always said that he would never allow a dog to sleep in his bed.... hmmmmm) So, tonight I'll have the two dogs, at some point during the night the two kids will wander in... and tomorrow? J.

Yes, J, his dog, and his daughter are coming too. For the weekend. We're gonna bbq on the balcony. I told X I'd do it if J would come, that way I wouldn't be outnumbered. But that was before I knew I'd have the dogs during the week, too.

Labor Day Weekend House guest Tally: Three dogs, two children, one college student and two grown ups.

And for good measure...

My new sitter just quit. Actually, can somebody quit before they even start? I sent her an email asking about sick/vacation days & she emailed back that she and her husband are starting fertility treatments... and she's very sorry...

And I know she is. Sorry. BUT NOT AS SORRY AS I AM!!!!

SHIT.

So, I contacted my second choice to see if she could send me some references... of course I interviewed her over two weeks ago - so she might be working somewhere else already...

If not.. maybe I'll go with the high school girl? I don't know. Is 16 too young? It's only four hours a day....

And... if I could continue in the frame of mind I was in before (previous post) how unfair is it that I have to deal with all this shit. X gets the kids four days a month. That's it. He deals with none of the stresses, doesn't worry about missing work, doesn't get woken up 3 times a night...

Ack. Sorry. Very obviously in one of those "Feeling Sorry for Self" moods... and like I said (previous post) sometimes it just hits. Most of the time I'm just used to it. And honestly... it wasn't much better when he was here...but

This sitter thing just f-ing sucks.



(And kia ora to my Kiwi reader!)

I'm in a BAD Mood

You know how sometimes it's the little things that set you off? Yeah. It's like that. I called one of the class mothers from Nathan's old school. I had purchased a DVD of his graduation ceremony & realized I never received it.

She's like "Well, I'm right on 108th Street, I have a doorman, you can come by anytime and pick it up."

When I asked if she could mail it she was like "No. Not going to the post office." Which is entirely reasonable. Really. (Especially if you know the hell that is the Forest Hills Post Office.)

But.

That just totally set me off. The thing is.... there is NO TIME I can ever get over there! I swear! During the week I have to come rightbacktomyhome rightaway rightfromthesubway donotpassgo donotcollect100dollars. And once home? With the kids? Can't really go out again. I don't have a car (don't really need one here...) so for us to go anywhere we have to walk, bus or subway. Trapped. I'm trapped.

And on weekends, in Manhattan with J from Friday post work on - or doing things with just me & kids. So if we do it then we ALL have to walk over to this woman's house.

And it's so silly. It's such a little thing. But sometimes it's the little things... (Said that already? Yeah. I know.)

And I say to her: "But, I'm a single mom, I work all day, I have the two little kids at home, I don't have a car... It's nearly impossible for me to get over there." And she says "Well, I'm at home with my kids all day long, and it's difficult, and I can't do it." But... ummmm? What do you do when the kids are in school? Couldntcha do me a favor?

Then I feel like a loser, using the single mom thing... but it's the truth! If there was another adult here I could stop off on my way home. I could run over (or the other adult could.... telling me to sit on the couch eating bon bons while they go out to fetch whatever it is I desire....) but it could be done. And am I wrong using that card? The "Single Mom" card? Maybe. Maybe I'm jealous that she has that other pair of hands... maybe I'm wrong in assuming that things are easier for her - just by virtue of that. I probably am.

Ack. So, maybe I'm a wee bit hormonal... but sometimes it just feels like everything is such a frigging EFFORT. And I get used to it - but then something minor like this comes up & it's just so frustrating....

And

Well.

Just: Ugh.

Apropos of Absolutely Nothing.

Did a lot of walking this weekend (went to South street Seaport for drinks, Francisco's for lobster, Friday - Shakespeare in the Park Saturday, and Practice day at the US Open today. Yep. That's me. Taking full advantage of everything NYC has to offer. One of the little spoken about benefits of divorce... the weekend without the kids...)

But anyhow.

Did a lot of walking, and as I was walking I said to J: "Ever noticed that some flip flops make noise and some don't?" And you know what? He honestly never noticed that! Imagine! So I asked a follow-up: "Well, I've noticed it - because these shoes that I'm wearing now are making a loud 'slap, slap' sound when I walk, and some don't. I wonder why that is. Do you ever wonder why that is?" And imagine once again my surprise when he told me that "no" he has never wondered that!! Can you believe it?!? How can I be going out with somebody who doesn't constantly ponder the mysteries of the universe?!?!

So yeah. I'm wondering. Really. Why do some make that "slap, slap" noise when you walk and some allow you tread as silently as a cat....? I'm thinking it has something to do with the position of the toe thingy (you know, between the first & second toes), or perhaps the positioning of the straps.

Perhaps I should consult a physicist? You know, somebody who could work out how where the tension is placed on the foot relates to the amount of noise created by the bottom of the foot and the top of the shoe.

Anyone?


ETA: Lest you think I am very cavalier about weekends without children - let me hasten to remind you that I spend 26 out of a 30 days month with my children. Just me. Single parent. The X has them 4 (and let's not go to the place where I start talking about why he sees his children so infrequently... and how they feel about that. Let's just NOT go there.). So.... yes - I relish and enjoy those moments when I can sleep late, not have to wipe a tush, cut up a chicken nugget... whatever.