Thursday, November 06, 2008

I'm moving

Well, I'm going to try it out anyhow...  I find myself thinking more and more that I give out too much information on this blog.  I'm starting another one that's totally anonymous.

SO - if you for some reason want the address for the new blog, feel free to email me at: withoutarulebook at (I NEVER said I could come up with short pithy email names!) and I'll send you the link.

Pretty sneaky, I know.  But a girls' gotta be careful.

Hope all five of you will come on over!  (ok, sometimes there are 10!)

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

This is the stuff I hate

I'm sick.  Had to leave work early, have fever, upset stomach & generally just feel crappy.

BUT - the kids are with X, and J is away... and actually it's not so bad to be alone.  Quiet.  Couch and comfy blanket all to myself...

Then... (cue foreboding music) the phone rang............  X.  You know, that man just knows.. just has that radar as to when to call.

He asked if I check the kids homework.  I said I did.  He said that Nathan's teacher asked Max to check Nathan's homework... and that it seems like Nathan has no clue what he's doing.  He says:  "You think you're a good mother -- but you're not.  You sit on the computer.  I'm going to ask for custody -- I can bring them to school every morning if I get a car..."

So, there are these two forces at work here... the one thing that yes -- I give the sitter a lot of responsibility with the homework.  I do check it over... but I don't talk about it with the kids unless I notice a mistake.  X says she is giving Nathan the answers.  So... it's something that maybe I'm not the best at.  And why does he know that?  I mean, if he called & said "You're not talking to your kids" I'd call him on the bullshit... but I can't really with this.

Then, the other part at play is knowing that I have sent homework & work books with the kids to X's house & he has never done them with them.  That there are school calendars still stitting in the bottom of the overnight bag... that I don't take out & just keep going back and forth from his place to mine....

And the fact that he is going to get a car?!?  With what?!?  He's unemployed! He's cut our support checks back by nearly $2000 monthly!  TWO THOUSAND.

Max was home with an upset stomach on Monday -- stayed with X -- who took him out for felafel.  (He was going to take him out for samosas.  Samosas.  A nice, bland food....)  So -- in reality... do I think that he will get custody -- do I think that he will actually even really TRY to do this.  Probably not.

But jeeze.  I'm here, by body aches, my stomach aches, I feel like absolute crap -- and this is what I need to think about?!?!

You know, you think the divorce means that all the shit ends -- but when you have kids it really really never does.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


So I spoke to X yesterday.  I am going to have the kids for Thanksgiving.  It is his turn - but I asked if I could have them.  I just cannot bare (bear? I never know that one!  Should probably just write "stand".) the thought of not having them with me for this big family holiday.  And since he's not American...

But his wife is.

And his Dad is going to be here, too.

But we're going to be in NYC - watching the parade, and Thanksgiving is going to be at my Uncle's apt - on Central Park West -- and J's family is going to be coming, too.  (Yep, families are pretty much all blended....)

So I asked X & yesterday he said ok.  "Bring them by Thursday night" he said.  But he said, his wife said "Does this mean we will never have them for Thanksgiving?"  And that really really touched me.  I love how she thought about that, and voiced it to him.  She wants them to be a family -- she considers my kids part of her family, to have them with her for that holiday.  And that's really really cool.  I don't feel threatened by that at all.

But *I* want them.

But dontcha know, being me... I feel guilty.  See how I take this situation and still manage to over think it & feel guilty about it?

Never a dull moment, being me.