Follow-up

So I realized I never told you how my brother did the other night - singing the Star Spangled Banner. Well - (OMIGOD, OMIGOD, OMIGOD - just did a search on google to see if there was anything about Hilary Clinton and the Rose Ball -and.... the search turned up... MY BLOG!!! I've entered the world of google search! Am I totally pathetic? Don't answer that.) from all reports he was a total success.

There were about 800 people there, and when he finished apparently not a dry eye in the house.

My mom said he totally belted it out - that his music teacher (at the school) said he had never heard him sing like that before. She said he enunciated every word, and pretty much stayed on key.

You know, I'm so used to him doing "normal" stuff so I guess it doesn't phase me -- but most people, I guess, are not used to the disabled being able to do things like this. Or at least that's how I explain it to myself when I hear about how people are so overwhelmed by this.

But mark my words - given how my Dad's pr machine works (my brother has been in the news since he was 14 - when Newsday covered his Bar Mitzvah - and Good Morning America picked it up, too) Adam will be singing the Star Spangled Banner at a Yankees or Met's game soon enough...

Feelin' Tipsy

I came accross this article - and it's pretty useful. I NEVER know what to tip. Ok, at restaurants I pretty much double the 8.25% tax -- which now I see is probably not even enough!

But, each time I'm in a tipping situation I very nearly panic. WHen I'm in a cab I watch the meter and mentally calculate the entire time... when I go to get my hair cut I calculate, and calculate and re-calculate. Part fo it has to do with my discomfort with math and numbers... part of it has to do with not a whole heck of a lot of disposable income - and part of it is I JUST DON'T KNOW.

So now here it is - all answered for me. All tied up in a nice little package. Ahhhhhhh, life is good....

Two things

Just wondering:

When does a person stop breaking out? I mean, when the hell will I stop having zits?!? It's so unfair! (See, I even sound like a teenager!!) I just don't understand it.

So, like, ok - when I was in H.S. I figured when I'm in my 20's, they'll go away. They didn't.

And then, when I was in my 20's I told myself that when I got pregnant, they would go away....

Then, when I was pregnant I consoled myself that after I had the child, after my hormones got back to their regular state... my "new" regular state would be so much more.... mature - and refined -that there would be no possibility of zits.

So now here I am - a bit older that 20 (just a bit) and I'm still friggin' getting them!! WHat the fuck is that all about??!?! Augh!!

Second thing: Sorry about the previous post (or I guess the post following this one, since this blog is in chronological order...?) it's a bit rambly. It's such a long story, and I probably shouldn't have even tried to write about it here -- just too much.

Ok - a third thing (sorry! You don't have to read it if you don't want! It's probably the least important of the bunch!) Who the HECK is squeezing my toothpaste tube from the middle?!?!

Breaking up, is...

So, those of you who know me know of the ongoing saga with Max's sitter (now ex-sitter) Esti. She was Max's first babysitter- until he was about 20 months old, or so - when Nathan was born. We all decided that taking care of two young children would be too much for her.

Well, I've had conflict with her from the start. First I thought it was because of my own baggage: didn't really like leaving him - didn't like going back to work -- so I thought that perhaps I might be taking it out on her. But there were lots of little things that always.... irked me. (One of which was dressing him in those dorky velvet shorts on his first birthday.) Some a bit bigger.

So, anyhow, we got past that and she has maintained a relationship with me/Max since then. She has helped out many times - in a pinch when I needed somebody to pick up one of the kids - and has been a huge help in organizing my apartment. She has a great eye. I don't.

Their relationship morphed into her picking him up at the bus stop one day a week & spending about an hour or so with him. Pretty much each time they spend together she buys him something. I have asked her over and over to please not buy him stuff. She also would say things to him like: "Max, I want to give this to you, but your mom says no." Basically, his time with her is spent with her doing exactly what he wants. And believe me - Max knows how to work it.

I don't have the time (or energy) to get into it (it's enough for another post) but time and time again I've seen how her judgement is just not good. It culminated this past Monday when she was supposed to pick Max up at the bus (1/2 day) but wasn't there. SHe didn't phone me. She didn't phone Gwen. She phoned this woman who lives in my building - who has a daughter in Max's classs. A woman whose judgement I also do not trust. It just happened that Gwen was coming back to the house & she saw Max with this woman. SHe called me - wondering what the heck was going on. Max was also upset: "What's going on ? WHere's Esti?" I had no idea.

I called her & she said she had been stuck on the train & that she "panicked" and called this woman instead of Gwen or myself. I was so angry I couldn't even talk. THen when I called the kids later that evening Max told me: that Esti was worried that I was angry at her. And was I angry at her? I explained that this is between Esti and I, and that he does not need to worry about it.

She then left a message saying that she doesn't want to talk to me because I'll just yell at her - and that she doesn't like the way I treat her - and that maybe she should stop seeing Max -and that she wanted the three of us to get together and "talk about it." Huh?!?

I left her a message agreeing - that I don't treat her well - but it's because I"v been so angry at her for so long - and that she's right - that she shouldn't see Max any more and that CERTAINLY she did not need to discuss it with him!

Yikes - sorry this is so long! I'm exhausting myself writing it. But certainly the different colors will keep your interest 'til the end, right? (Of course, right. Name that Musical!*)

SO ANYHOW - we spoke today & basically it was her saying that her time with Max is just for him to have fun, and my saying that children need rules/structure and that she has more of an impact on him than she thinks. And that even if she does NOT agree with me - I AM HIS MOTHER and she should please respect that. End of story. (I know, you just got so excited! Is it really the end of the story?!?)

We decided that she won't see him over the summer while he's at camp & that hopefully, organically the relationship will just end.

The End.

*Fiddler on the Roof

Kinda awkward

How funny is that picture. THey are totally getting into Star Wars now....

Went to the recital yesterday & it ended up that X came. He called Friday to ask what time it was. I had emailed him 25,000 times telling him about it - asking if he was coming -- but never heard back. I suppose that's the one thing I have to learn --- tell him once, then forget it. He's a big boy.

But anyhow, I was there w/my parents & he came up - said hi - then went to his seat.

And it's so strange... co-parenting with this person - having shared pride in your kids.... and they're sitting somewhere else - and you're not talking to each other about it, or giving each other those little smiles when you see your child do something.

I'm going through this interterminable recital & want to say to him: "wow, wasn't Nathan good" - or even just to gossip about somebody there, who we both knew - and used to joke about - and my parents don't... And that's strange.

And my dad says "Should we invite him for lunch?" Huh? Me: "Do you WANT to have him for lunch?" Dad: "No, but for the kids...." I said no -it gives them mixed messages. And besides - I did not WANT to have him join us.

WHile we were waiting Nathan had to go to the bathroom. I went backstage to get him & Max wanted to go, too. I brought them back out & we walked by X. He saw us. said "Hi" to the kids & took them to the bathroom. So I figured, this is probably the best it is/could be. We're both there, both looking after them - they know we're all there.... for them - and that's that.

But it was still strange.

Recital

I know, it's a crappy shot. It's way too dark. But you know, the recital did not last one hour. It did not last two hours, nor did it last... oh... 2 1/2 hours. It lasted THREE FRIGGIN' HOURS!!

Now, I love kids. I love watching kids perform. I do. It makes me smile. I sing along, I clap. So if I was bored to tears and ready to run screaming out... well... it was long.

I spoke to the owner of the gymnastics school & she said that they had to/wanted to wait 'til kids were ready (i.e. not crying) before they went on stage. They wanted all the kids to have a chance. WHich is great. Except that I was sitting there for three friggin' hours (did I mention that?) and I was also HUNGRY.

The kids did really well. Nathan was in a gymnastics class, and Max in a capoeira. Nathan was totally into it & his form is great. Max.. well - is this ok for a parent to say? He was ok. Not the best in his group... (no, no lightening bolts..) I think Max spends more time on the idea of capoeira & the whole power rangerish aspect of it (although I really dont think what the power rangers do is anything at all capeoira-ish. And do you know HOW DIFFICULT it is to write the word capoeira?!?) than he spends on what it actually IS. But, he's good.

Frankly, both boys are SO coordinated and athletic it freaks me out that they're my kids. THey are fast runners, can climb, kick, hit - whatever. That they did NOT get from my side of the family!