Saturday, May 12, 2007

Yankees Game

We went to see the Yankees play the Texas Rangers (Yankees lostlostlost) but it was fun anyhow!

We went with J and his daughter. It was a bit of a long day for Nathan, but there were enough people and things there to keep him busy. Also, I bought each of the boys a Yankees hat and one "toy" so that kept them entertained for a while... I mean, how could you not go to a First Baseball Game and not buy stuff?!?

Ok. Well I couldn't.

And what is up with this formatting? How do I fix it? This is highly distressing.
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Thursday, May 10, 2007

And To Make Matters WORSE

I just found my first gray hair!!!!!

This is it now, folkes. The beginning of the end. And just think, you were here right when it started, and you can now say "Oh yes, I knew her when she was young..." Or "Yeah, she's not really aging very well."

Or even "Man, those old people really get grumpy!"

*Omigod, I really can't believe it! It was right there! Right in the front! As gray as the old gray goose -- who also ain't what she used to be.....

It's happening.

I'm getting old.

I know, I know... it happens. Heck, I work with senior citizens - of course I know it happens! But shhhhh...... it's something that happens to other people! Not me!!

I've been very lucky - I look young, no grey hairs, no wrinkles (to speak of. Well, I don't check ok?!?!) etc. And ok, so in the last year or so my eyesight has been going. Like I can't see at all when my eyes are tired, or there's dim lighting. And my eyesight has always been perfectly perfect.

But now this is something else.

I went to the Dr a week or so ago (my OB) and then yesterday I had an ultra sound. I had been having these pains in what I felt to be my right ovary. First I thought it was just ovulation pains... but then it just didn't go away. So, I did what any normal person would do. I freaked out. I caled my ob & went in for her to take a look.

She found nothing, but sent me for the ultra sound (yesterday). The ultra sound also found nothing.

So I asked them: "ok, there's nothing - so what is causing the pain? How can there be pain and be nothing there?!?!" Their response is: "sometimes there's just pain."

Then it dawned on me: This is Old People's Pain! When you get older you just start having these pains... and now I have one, too! (and I've been trying to hold this back - but you know that this pain is of course in addition to the two pains who are oftentimes my children! Hee, hee, hee! Ok. I said it.)

Then something else happened. When I was in the ultra sound room I told the technician how I used to come there when I was pregnant w/the kids. She asked how long ago & I was like "oh, 7 and 5 years ago..." She goes "oh, I bet the technology has changed a lot since then." Since Then?!?!? What are you talking about?!? My kids are young!! This wasn't a long time ago! It was yesterday!!!!

And again. I felt old. I'm a "since then." I was pregnant seven friggin' years ago - which never seemed like a long time... but now it's "since then" and new technologies have come up and my pregnancy was ages and ages ago... and.... and... time is passing....ergo I am....Old.

It was a very eventful ultra-sound.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

But it's not like mine!!

So, those of you who have been regular readers (2 of you?) have probably picked up that I've picked up that I was probably never in love with X. I don't know what it was. I thought it was love. And perhaps he loved me in his own warped kinda way... but feeling what I feel now - with J - I sure as shit never felt that with X. Never. Not even once.

So, this is what I've been noticing now, about me. Even though J and I have been going out for more than a year already -- so it's not like this is still shiney sparkely new - I feel like I have to talk about it All The Time. All the time. And talk about him. To everybody.

And ok, I feel like it. I don't do it. I'm not stupid. I don't want to alienate all my friends and relations. Although I suppose this is better than dealing with me venting about X. Constantly.

But I also find myself... when I'm telling people about this... and thinking about their relationships... I'm thinking... "Yes, but you don't love him as much as I love J. You don't REALLY know what I mean. Yours is not the same!"

And Omigod!! When I catch myself thinking those things I give myself a virtual slap! "Sotp it! You're becoming a silly mooning kid! This is what it is and this is what most people have! Stop being such a self-centered git!"

But still. It's kinda cool. And you probably know what I mean.