Living out Loud

So I'm just finding out about this author - Ayelet Waldman. As I'm learning, she's an author who wrote a blog and who apparently wrote about her feelings of suicide in her blog.... What I find interesting about her is the way she talks about writing in her blog. (And if I could possibly say "Blog" one more time in this paragraph I blogging would!"

She writes about how it becomes all consuming - that one of her kids does something & it's immediately on the blog!

Anyhow, the real reason for this post was actually wondering if any of you had heard of her & any thoughts. Hopefully the silence won't be too resounding.

The peep who came for Pasover

 

He's not dishonest, he's just cheap.

Remember? Way back when? When people read and commented on my blogs? Oh, those were certainly the days! (hint, hint people!!)

So anyhow, the quote was from today's mediation session. I do believe that about my X. Like if he tells me is worked out a fair payment for my student loan - I believe him. But I"m still pissed off he doesn't want to pay for summer camps. I think this chapter is almost done, though.

I went to my doctor today - for my yearly physical. I find her very comforting. She really sits and listens to me -- about my life, not just my physical being. I was there an hour and a half. Told her about my split up, about my life now, how I get no sleep (kids in & out of my bed all night long. Yes, yes, I know - be quiet Dr. Freud!) etc. I like the holisticness (word?) about it - how she knows ME - so that because I"m stressed/tired I"m more likely to get sick. So we talk about that. I also like that she's a working mom - so when I talk about not having the time that I"d like to work out, she knows what I"m talking about.

Also - this is interesting. WHen we were talking about gyms she said how she would never go (she is VERY fit!) because of all the bacteria.... Yick!

Got about 100 million tests run - so hopefully they're all ok (you hear that, Cholesterol?!?)

Here's a question for my non-exixtent readers: When does one cross the threshold from "date" to boyfriend/girlfriend? Not that I'm thinking about that at all or anything.... But hypothetically. You know, since I want you all to "Come ALong" (YEs, I know it's cheesy - I'll think of something else!) I just try and try to keep this interesting. This might sometimes mean that I bring something in that relates only tangentially to my life.

Has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I've been dating this guy for over a month and really like him and am totally overwhelmed by the whold thing.

Nothing at all.

By the way - went here yesterday & if any of you non-new yorkers come into the city - GO THERE! It's so great...

Oh, here's something (what was that comment about too much stream of consiousness?!? Keep it to yourself!) THis morning Max mentioned how the X's dad will be coming to visit him next week & how he is an "Alcohol Addict." It's gonna be interesting. I told Max that this is a private thing, and he probably would not want to talk about it too much with X-in-law... Oy.

Ok, ok - I'm done! Gotta make sure there's some print here... since there are certainly NO COMMENTS!

Just wondering

If I get extra points for not eating the chocolate macaroon which contains SEVEN grams of fat?

Do I?

And who keeps track of these points?

Oh. The idea is that I'm doing it for myself?!? Right.

The Seattle Times: Living: Peeptacular!

The Seattle Times: Living: Peeptacular!

Oy, the guilt....

So we were out at my parents' house for Passover and the weekend following. It was nice, probably a bit more work for my parents than their used to. Oh, who am I kidding - a lot more work for them! One little boy below the age of five is a hurricane, two are like a tornado!

Try as they might, these kids cannot stop making messes, and I think that they just don't know how to talk in soft voices...

So anyhow, this is all to lead up to the point that I wanted to go out a bit on Saturday night. Alone. Well, not alone, alone - alone without the kids alone. With a date. So, I asked my mom if they could watch the kids that night. "Are you going out with that guy?" "Yes." "Oh."

SO GLAD I'm a grown mother of two.

So, they agreed. I was to make sure the kids were bathed, fed and pajamed - but that they would stay with them.

I thought about how or what I would tell the kids. All my other dates had been when they were at their Dad's - so they wouldn't know.... Do I invite him in? Do I tell them I'm going out with a friend? What?!?!

Max is uncanny with his ability to pick up signals. One time I was talking on the phone with a guy I was thinking about dating & Max said: "Are you talking to a guy?" "Why?" "Well, if you are, tell him you have kids, and that we're cute - so when he meets us he'll like us." Nearly knocked me off my chair!

So, I decided to tell them I was going out with my friend - a friend they know. So they were ok with it.

As I'm getting ready to go, Nathan falls asleep. Max goes to me: "Mom, you can't go while Nathan is asleep - you know how he'll feel upset if he wakes up and you're not there!" I explained that I was so proud of him for thinking about his brother, but that he was there, and grandma, and grandpa - and that Nathan would be ok.

I told my mom (a mistake?) and she said "Well, you know, when they lose the family structure they feel insecure so they start to look out for each other.... If you've noticed, family is SO important to them..."

Whaaaattt?!? Great. Thanks. Couldn't just take a tender brotherly moment? Had to work it into: "well, what did you expect, forcing them into this tenuous single parent situation?!?"

So ok - I get past that.

Have a very nice time & get home just a bit after curfew (don't ask). I go down to see the kids and Nathan is now awake (since he took that very late nap earlier). He looks up at me from the bed and goes: "I was so worried. I woke up, went to go pee, came back down - and you weren't here! Where were you?!? I was so worried!"

Apparently I can't go out.