Thirteen Things about My High School Years that Make me Smile (not wince) at their memory. (I guess enough time has passed...) 1…. Being old enough to take advantage of "Open Campus" and actually leaving the school grounds during the school day. (On a free period. Of course. Not when I'd have class! Never do that!) 2... Walking down the street singing Baba O'Reily (The Who) w/H. (Nope, not wincing yet!) 3... Laughing hysterically w/H. about pygmies getting hit on the head with pieces of the falling Skylab. (Remember that?) And how they'd have to wear skylab crash helmets. 4... Sneaking out the side door at school and drinking "surprise" which was soda in a soda bottle mixed with some sort of alcohol. 5.. Sniffing Rush in Mrs. McPartland's biology class. ("Will you kids stop sniffing whatever it is you're sniffing back there and pay attention!" And this was at a nice suburban school - can you say: "What a different time?!?" What do you think a teacher would do NOW?! 6... Writing my term paper on Radical Groups of the 60's, and wishing oh so much that I was a teenager back then... 7... Daydraming about Jim Morrison.... 8... Daydreaming about Mick Jagger... 9... Getting tickets through the ticket lottery for the Rolling Stones concert ("Still LIfe" I think) with Maggie and sitting with her while she was tripping on two (not one, but two) hits of mescaline. (She had taken one before and it "did nothing" so why not take two when she's with ME?!) 10. Maggie getting 100% on her English exam the next day(I did NOT) while she was up all night still tripping. 11... Putting my "Question Authority" pin on my bag and feeling soooo cool.... 12... Seeing Al Pacino on stage in American Buffalo... ahhhh Al Pacino... 13... Having a crush on R.M. the entire four years of high school (and ok, actually a little beyond. But I'm over it now. Really.). Never talking to him 'til senior year when he started to date a friend of mine... Leading me to understand why they call it a "crush." Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Oh, my aching brain...

So if any of you have read over there X has told me that he will no longer pay what we agreed upon was his share of child care. He reduced it by a few hundred. Plus made a few other cuts. I told him I don't agree, and he said he's getting an attorney.

He said that I am "selfish" "illogical" "greedy" and obviously don't care at all about his "standard of living." Yep. That's what he said. He doesn't want to deal with my selfishness for the next 20 years.

Funny, because all I'm asking for is the state mandated minimum.

And I'm sorry if it makes life difficult for him - but the other way makes life difficult for ME - and that in turn makes life difficult for the kids.... Soooo... well given that equation, I guess the three of us come out ahead.

But of course, in true X fashion he sent me another email last night with a new negotiation figure. After he said he would not negotiate any more. I'm realizing that what he wants is a guarantee that what I spend on child care won't go above a certain number - so that he will know what he's in for. He wants certainty. But then, don't we all? And I don't know what I'm going to find in terms of child care - and I don't know how much it's going to cost.... so how can I agree to that?

He's so inconsistent & really doesn't know what he wants himself... just that he wants to feel secure with his money.

Part of me so wants to just hand this all over to an attorney... just sit back and let that person take care of it all... But another part doesn't want to go that route... the anger, the mistrust, the non-communication - the possible involvement of the kids... also, of course there's the money. But shit - we've probably spent that much with all the mediation. Glad that was money put to good use. At least most of it was from our joint funds...

I'm going to call an attorney today - but also have to think of all the repercussions... pro and con.

I really, really, REALLY just want all this shit to be overwith already.