The boys got their results back from the Gifted and Talented test. They didn't make it. Neither of my boys are gifted. Or Talented.
According to the test.
I had been gearing myself for this for a while. "Ahhh.... it's no big deal. It's only a test. If they *do* get in, I'm not even sure I want them to be in it - they'll be overwhelmed with homework... is that worth it at this young age?" And so on. You get the idea.
But we got the results back. And neither made it to the 90th percentile. Not even to the 80th percentile.
(BLOG INTERRUPTION! MOUSE! HERE! CUTE! RUNNING! CRAP!!! OMIGOD! WHAT DO I DO?!?!?)
The crazy woman who lives in my building? Her daughter is 89th percentile. Nathan's friend? He made it. My boys? Did not.
And I cannot at all tell you how awful I feel that way. But you know what it's about? It's about me not feeling like I did a good enough job as a parent. It's not about them not being good/smart/gifted/talented enough... It's about me not sitting with them more. Not reading with them enough. Not doing flash cards. Not making them practice their writing over and over. I feel like if I had done this... I'd have given them the chance to succeed... but because I come home & crash & the last thing I ever want to do is go over letters with them...
(DO YOU THINK I CAN CATCH IT WITH A TUPPERWARE CONTAINER? THEN TOSS IT DOWN THE TRASH?)
Max is very glad he did not make it. He does not want the extra homework.
I haven't told X yet. I need to, but I'm not sure I want to deal with his reaction -- or how he'll react with the kids. The thing with him is I never really know... He could be really "normal" or... not.