Today I did (have been doing) something I have not done in a long long time. Nothing. Not a thing. Have not even showered yet. (Shhhh)

Yep. I called in sick. Kids are with X all day, from last night and I just called in sick. I suppose in a sense I was sick. Everybody at work yesterday gave me the "are you ok?" look. You know the one? Where you look like crap & people are starting to get worried. And the truth is, by yesterday I had totally reached my saturation point. This sickness, this back and forth from work and home with emergency phone calls, trips to doctor, X... and a wee bit o' PMS... well - not a good mix.

Nathan has this on again off again fever. Brought him to the Dr. Sunday & she gave him an antibiotic for a sinus infection. By Wednesday he still had fever. I had the sitter take him to the doctor. The doctor switched meds (hey, did I write this already? Am I repeating blog posts? omigod. There is nothing more pathetic than not remembering if you've written something in your blog already or not!!! Well, I'm home sick - so I should be forgiven.) and said that if his fever is not down with the new med then we have to take him for a blood test. For Mono.

Mono.

Wednesday, after dealing with a HELL of a morning trying to get Max out of bed and to school "MOM you are making a BAD decision! My stomach HURTS!") having the school nurse call me in the middle of a training session, having the sitter call me in a near panic because Nathan's fever went up so much... I had to deal with Max yelling.. ohhhhh... about THREE HOURS. From about six until 8 pm. "MOM MY STOMACH HURTS! IT HURTS! A BAD DECISION! I'M TELLING YOU! IT HURTS!" If anybody had happened by they would have thought I was the most heartless person in the world. "Ok Max. It hurts. Stop yelling. Or, if you have to yell go into your room. Or the bathroom. Just BE QUIET!"

But it's hard. And we've already discussed that wee part of me that is NOT so sure it's nothing... and three hours straight of yelling... well.. I just think - is it possible for a person to keep up a pretense for that long?!?

So, yesterday they were both home. I caved. Nathan still had fever. They were supposed to go to X's Thursday night through Sunday. (My mom was all "how can you send them? He can't take care of them!") But I said to Nathan - do you want to stay here & he responded that he wants to go to his Dad's.. Sooo... I sent X emails of all the meds he'd have to buy (motrin, tums) a thermometer... (And don't ask me how Max's stomach was yesterday at home, last night, or today - or I'll have to kill somebody. It was, of course, fine. Even X is now starting to say maybe we should find somebody for Max to talk to -- but that's probably another post...)

In the end I caved again - and just bought them for him. I figured, I'm so stressed... why add to it wondering if he's going to get the stuff. So I bought him a thermometer, motrin, tums... I packed up all of the kids' meds in little plastic bags, each one labeled... and oh - I've actually done ONE thing today. I've called and texted X about 25 million times.

I texted him at 7:30 am. "Take Nathan's temp before you give him the motrin. first thing in the morning" Then at 8:30 - "give him lots of liquids." Then at noon - called.

His temp which had been going from 101 - 103 has not gone above 99 today... so I'm cautiously hopeful. If not, X will have to take Nathan for the blood test tomorrow.

Now, time to get back to my nothing.

Isn't it so horrible that I feel like I have to get all medical care done for my kids before Friday? From Friday - Sunday they will be with X & I can't depend that he will do... well... anything.

I don't want to miss more work - so I am asking my babysitter to bring Nathan to the Dr today. I am depending on somebody I pay -- more than the children's father.

I know. I said no expectations. And this IS no expectations. But I just can't stop being so incredulous about it....

Have to stop the incredulity (a word?) too.

Greetings from the Sick House

Yep. Fun times afoot.

Nathan has had this weird sort of illness. On again off again. He has fever, about 102-103 one day & the next it's gone - with this strange kind of cough. At first it was loose, but now it's actually becoming a bit more serious.... This has been going on for about two weeks. Brought him to the Dr. on Sunday, she said maybe a sinus infection, gave him antibiotic & he was better Monday. Today: fever again. Gonna take him back to the doctor (hopefully an early appointment!) and my sitter is going to be here the whole day.

I figure I'm not going to stress over whether or not X will help with the extra babysitter money. I need her to come, so I will ask her to come. Too many stresses (missing work, will he pay...) have to cut down on that. Just have to live how I have to live, and if he helps -- all the better.

Max was stomach ache free all the rest of Friday (after X was able to get him off to school) and Saturday... and all of a sudden.... Sunday evening, wouldn'tcha know... Then, yesterday morning it was an absolute teeth gnashing fight to get him out the door.... Allow me to describe: "Max. Get up!" "I can't! It hurts" "Max. Get up!" "But MOM - it really really hurts!" "Max. Get up." "MOM!!" "MAX GET UP OUT OF THAT BED RIGHT NOW! IF WE MISS THAT BUS I WILL BE LIVID!"

Max slithers out of bed, kind of like a snail, or a snake, or maybe more like an inchworm. He can't stand up, you know - because "IT HURTS!" (Sorry, reached my sympathy quota last week.) He inches his way, on his stomach, to the couch. He gets there. "I'll have a flip flop waffle." As right as rain.

Hmmmmm

Then he starts with the Pokemon cards. He is not moving. Not eating. Not getting dressed. Not nothing. Just Pokemon. "Max. Put down the cards. Eat your breakfast." "Ok." "Max. Put down the cards. Get dressed." "Ok." "Max. Your breakfast! Clothes! Put DOWN the cards!" "Ok." "MAXPUTTHOSECARDSDOWNRIGHTNOWORI'MTAKINGTHEMAWAY!" "Ok."

Snatch.

"Oooohhhh... my cards! Ohhhh... you are the MEANEST MOMMY EVER! I am NOT getting dressed UNTIL I get the cards back! I'm NOT!"

(Said in a cold, quiet voice) "Maxwell. I have the power. I have the cards. You will get dressed. Also, if we miss that bus, you know that whole binder of cards that you have...." He got dressed. We walk out the door - and dontcha know - he's fine. Like the whole morning trauma: POOF! Gone.

This morning was eerily similar. Except his hurting/screaming was far more dramatic. I got out my camera phone and videoed. I couldn't believe the drama, the pathos, the nearly real tears....

But he got really upset. He said "I can't believe you humiliate me like that!" "Humiliate?" How does my seven year old even know that word?!? I apologize. I told him I was just trying to calm him down. He said "Did your mom ever do stuff like that to YOU?" I said "Oh no - but she did other things..." (You can talk to your shrink, kid, like I do to mine!)

I don't know... does his stomach really hurt? I think it does.. but I can't understand why it's just during the week? Could the stress of school really manifest itself into these stomach aches? I see him wince in pain, and I can't imagine a seven year old could keep up this pretence for so long...

All his tests came back normal (Celiac, Crohns, etc) I have to take a stool sample (yuck! Even yuckier when I asked the Dr how... don't worry - I won't tell you!) to test for H. Pylori. Every doctor says he's "fine" -- and I have to believe them, right?

But ugh. I'm totally reaching saturation point with all this, that's for sure.