Monday, February 26, 2007

A Funny Thing Happened On My Way..

Ok, I wasn't "on my way" I was already *at* but I just felt like using that title. So sue me.

(Aside: Nathan became upset that there was a book/movie with Max's name in it (Where the Wild Things Are) so he threatened to leave. Packed his bag & went to the door. So, we looked on line for things with Nathan and found Guys and Dolls/Nathan Detroit. We Found Adelaide's Lament and spent most of the rest of the day singing "sue me, sue, me, what can you do me...")

But anyhow.

I was at a meeting last week, was sitting with a co-worker I don't know too well & we got to talking... I mentioned how I have no time after work... childcare... babysitter.... X and she looks at me and says; "Well, wouldn't it be easier if you just got back with him?"


Wouldn't life be easier, she suggested, if I got back with him... for me, for my kids.... because her parents were in a horrible relationship and they stayed together.

(Let me add right here that I do not believe this co-worker is married...)

I explained that NO, it would not be better... but she looked at me with such disapproval... It wasn't her business, so I wasn't going to go into how we went for counseling, or how we stayed together far, far longer than we should have...

But what I realized, what I had forgotten, was that there are many, many people who really do not look kindly on divorce. I mean, isn't it a sin in the Catholic Church? And it was the first time I had felt the cold hard glare of disapproval for doing this.

Then I was talking to my parents about friends of theirs... it seems the friends' daughter's husband is the carrier for a horrible, horrible birth defect. The daughter has been pregnant a few times already and has miscarried... and they are trying again, but still very worried. I suggested adoption. My mother replies that her friend is "against adoption" (Hey, what about the friend's daughter? How does she feel? Oh, never mind.) That you "never know what you are going to get", and something about them not being as "good" as "regular" Why are they put up for adoption... something is "wrong" with the parents....

Of course I explained about how adoptions are so different now, open adoptions, etc, etc.... but I could tell my mom kinda half believed her friend.... she was listening to me in that "oh, let me humor her" kind of way... (And don't tell me you don't know that sort of listening way!)

When I was finally able to close my jaw that was hanging on my chest I remembered X telling me his mom felt the same way. I thought it was just her.. .but now....

I don't really know where I"m going with this... but it never ceases to amaze me the amount of ignorance there is out there.... and how people are so quick to judge others - and here especially when people are trying to do something to help themselves.. help their children....

C'mon people... open your minds.

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