I know, I know - it wouldn't be a week without a posting about X's annoyances.... I do feel a bit repetitive with these posts... but for some reason it's therapeutic for me to get it out. Maybe to have witnesses? Validation? To vent? I don't know. I haven't hyper-analyzed myself enough about that. Give it time. I'll find out.
BUT - X called yesterday. He can't take the kids tonight. He's going on a business trip (Chicago!) and needs to prep. Also, he's anxious about his job (ie thinks he might lose it. Wait. How many jobs has he lost? That's right, I've lost count, too...) so really wants to be ready for it.
J and I have tickets for a show tonight. I haven't seen J in a week. I say to X - can't your fiance pick them up? He says no. That it's "not her responsibility." Huh? Ummm... aren't you marrying her? But no. It's not her responsibility. So then I say... "well, I'm sure if you don't go the 'responsibility' route & just ask her to do you a favor this once..." Nope. "How about asking if she'd do ME a favor?!?" Nope.
So I guess the crux of this is... as usual - he just doesn't get it. He doesn't get what being a parent is. He can (and does) love them... but sometimes it's not convenient.. and you STILL have to deal with them. And he has two people - two grownups - at his place. But it's still his job, his responsibility, his right and his privilege to see them once a week -- and if something gets in the way of that - he will let that take priority. NOT his kids and their need to see him. And NOT his job as a parent.
And you know what else? Pretty much every week he tries to get out of seeing them. Last week - he was really anxious about the job thing... felt that he couldn't handle having them. I told him we had plans (we didn't) and he took them. THe week before.. it was something... but I made him take them. So every week we really don't know from one day to the next if he's going to take them or not. Don't even know why I bother. I should just go back to him just having them every other weekend.... a little less stress in my life. (But of course, the kids like to see him...)
My sister will watch the kids tonight when we go see the show....