Saturday, May 17, 2008

Max's Birthday

Today is Max's birthday. He's 8. I still can't really believe it. I was looking at his face, as he was falling asleep tonight - and this image of his ultra sound photo popped into my head! (Ok, well... in thinking about it I'm wondering how I know it's HIS ultrasound photo that popped in? Because. Let's be honest here... they all kinda look alike, don't they? Like don't you think the ultra sound technicians have a pile of photos they just give to the patients who come in for their scans? Just sayin'. But anyhow - he looked like A ultrasound picture, which somehow doesn't sound as nice and mushy and sentimental.)

Well, that's probably because I'm usually not so very mushy and sentimental. I can be nice. Although I've been told I'm not nice enough to be a flight attendant. I don't suffer fools gladly. And I don't have a poker face.

Oh. But wait. This was about MAX. It being his birthday and all... I mean, it's not like I worked really hard to give BIRTH to him or anything, is it?

Ok, ok. So he actually hit a home run today at his little league game, which was really cool. The team is really starting to come along - they ALL hit. The score was 19-4!!!

But here's the interesting part (you were waiting for this. I know.) I was there with X. Just us. (And Nathan, but he's always there... so....) And. It. Was. Ok. Normal. Calm. A bit strange.

We sat next to each other. We talked about the kids. We talked about books we had read, movies we had seen. We talked politics. Ok, when I went down to the snack bar & politely asked him if he wanted anything I did NOT expect him to say "sure, a hot dog." But if I didn't want to buy him anything I shouldn't have offered.

THEN, after we went out for a birthday dinner for Max. X didn't want to go at first. I told him I'd treat. He came. I wasn't sure if I should push it, given Max wanting us to move back in together... but I don't know... we were both there, it was his birthday... I felt like we should all be together.

By and large it worked. It's amazing how you fall back into those rhythms: the private jokes, the nicknames we had for relatives... it felt normal. But it wasn't.

I"m reading this book "Custody Chaos, Personal Peace: Sharing Custody with an Ex Who Drives you Crazy." and the author makes a point of reminding us that our Ex's are human. That we did, at one point see something in them... and that they are not perfect. (This is all part of his idea that if you don't let what happens with your Ex stress you out as much, then you have more control...) So this was good.

But still. Strange.


slouching mom said...

happy birthday, max!

i'm glad things were mellow with your ex. that sounds like maybe the best one can hope for.

Anonymous said...

It is so fun to read about all the stuff that I worried about when my kids were little!!! You are helping me to relive some great moments in my life. My grandson Blake was 8 on March 10th and he is so much fun to be around. Keep taking the videos they will love watching them in a few years.
Tell Max that Waldo says, "Happy Birthday". ~~~Waldo

SoloMother said...

Happy Birthday to Max!

I hear you on the awkward X at birthday times. Mine dropped in on us from the other side of the world, with only a week's notice, and spent far too much time, in my opinion, breathing the same air as I.

But we all got through it, though I'm wondering how he justifies spending all that money on air fare when he hasn't paid his child support in almost six months...