Sunday, June 08, 2008

I have nothing to say.

I was talking to a young, cute, vivacious 20 something girl today. She was telling me about her new boyfriend. We started talking a bit about sex. She said she doesn't like to use hormonal birth control & is thinking of just using the rhythm method. I smiled. Nodded. And said yes, but that's not always the most reliable.

She smiles and says: "Yes, but if anything happens, I have no problem killing it."



I suppose I was expecting her to say something like... "I love him ,we'll keep the baby.."

Now listen. I have to say that I am absolutely 100% pro-choice. No question. And this young woman is certainly in no stage in her life to have a baby. I don't know that I would REALLY expect her to have it. But I sure as shit did not expect her to say that. Like that. (And yes, I recognize it was also part of her trying to seem young, hip & cool... and maybe this really isn't anything you really know until you're pregnant. Until you have kids. Until you know people who have had lost their babies..., But.)

I kind of gulped and said .."well... I guess... but you know -- you really do not want to be presented with that. It's devastating. Really. Truly. You should try however you can NOT to put yourself into that situation."

She kind of smiled, a Yes I Know smile. And knowing there was nothing else I could do or say - because this young woman absolutely and totally knows her own mind... and I made my point very loud and clear. (I'm good like that.)

But. Sigh. It upset me. I'm so pro-choice, but I hate hearing stuff like this... I suppose I've been living in a bit of a bubble - It's not like I talk to a lot of people in this age group. It's either elementary schoolers or senior citizens! I kind of miss out on a whole age group... But it kind of made me want to cart out those "Abstinence Only" banners...
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Tracy said...

Yikes!! I don't know that I've ever heard anyone put it that way, so casually... and I'd expect more of someone in their twenties!


Gwen said...

That woman is doing such a disservice to all her sisters; she's what the pro-life people believe in their deepest heart of hearts (or not so deep) that all pro-choicers are. That's kind of sick, actually, even if it was meant ironically.


Ok, now I have to add another age-group I can't deal with to my very long list. When I was in my 20's I thought I knew everything and that 40-somethings were just giant idiots. Now I realize I just hadn't had my ass kicked by life enough. My thirties were about realizing I knew nothing. Now, on the brink of 40 I'm not even sure there are any "right" answers.

Magpie said...

Wow. That's really stunning. And if it comes to pass, she'll regret it later.

And yes, I'm as pro-choice as they come.

Anonymous said...

You know, maybe she is pro-dumb-choice. But then again what do you expect from some pro-good-choice person as me. I wish I had always made good choices and am thankful that I wanted my children. I hope to think not all people in her age group are like her.

Family Adventure said...

I am absolutely 100% pro choice myself..HOWEVER...what this girl said was ridiculously stupid. I would be flabbergasted, speechless, horrified. She sounds like she needs a good talking to. I'm glad you tried - for what it's worth.


Kate said...

Oh my god, that absolutely blows me away. I have a friend and she has known form a very young age that she does not want kids, but she faced the fact that if she didn't cover herself properly with contraceptives then she would get pregnant. One day she told me that if she did get pregnant she would be turning up on my doorstep with an adoption document, maybe you can suggest that as an option to the "killer" girl.
I am truly impressed with the way you handled the conversation though because I would have been overcome with the desire to throw up or to slap her stupid!!