Sunday, April 16, 2006

Oy, the guilt....

So we were out at my parents' house for Passover and the weekend following. It was nice, probably a bit more work for my parents than their used to. Oh, who am I kidding - a lot more work for them! One little boy below the age of five is a hurricane, two are like a tornado!

Try as they might, these kids cannot stop making messes, and I think that they just don't know how to talk in soft voices...

So anyhow, this is all to lead up to the point that I wanted to go out a bit on Saturday night. Alone. Well, not alone, alone - alone without the kids alone. With a date. So, I asked my mom if they could watch the kids that night. "Are you going out with that guy?" "Yes." "Oh."

SO GLAD I'm a grown mother of two.

So, they agreed. I was to make sure the kids were bathed, fed and pajamed - but that they would stay with them.

I thought about how or what I would tell the kids. All my other dates had been when they were at their Dad's - so they wouldn't know.... Do I invite him in? Do I tell them I'm going out with a friend? What?!?!

Max is uncanny with his ability to pick up signals. One time I was talking on the phone with a guy I was thinking about dating & Max said: "Are you talking to a guy?" "Why?" "Well, if you are, tell him you have kids, and that we're cute - so when he meets us he'll like us." Nearly knocked me off my chair!

So, I decided to tell them I was going out with my friend - a friend they know. So they were ok with it.

As I'm getting ready to go, Nathan falls asleep. Max goes to me: "Mom, you can't go while Nathan is asleep - you know how he'll feel upset if he wakes up and you're not there!" I explained that I was so proud of him for thinking about his brother, but that he was there, and grandma, and grandpa - and that Nathan would be ok.

I told my mom (a mistake?) and she said "Well, you know, when they lose the family structure they feel insecure so they start to look out for each other.... If you've noticed, family is SO important to them..."

Whaaaattt?!? Great. Thanks. Couldn't just take a tender brotherly moment? Had to work it into: "well, what did you expect, forcing them into this tenuous single parent situation?!?"

So ok - I get past that.

Have a very nice time & get home just a bit after curfew (don't ask). I go down to see the kids and Nathan is now awake (since he took that very late nap earlier). He looks up at me from the bed and goes: "I was so worried. I woke up, went to go pee, came back down - and you weren't here! Where were you?!? I was so worried!"

Apparently I can't go out.

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