In which you join me on my trip into my new life post-divorce. I'm just living it. Without a Rule Book.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
I had my kids this weekend, and by the end of the weekend (which I suppose is just about now) I just feel like maybe I'm not such a good mom. (And I just tried to do a google image search for a photo of a bad mom & apparently many, many, many moms also think of them selves as "Bad Moms" - for whatever that's worth. Oh, and that woman who drove her kids into the water - don't remember her name.)
I don't know, I just don't have patience. "Mom, look at this!" "MOm, get me that!" "Mom, let's do this!" "Mom, wipe me!" "Mom, Max is sitting on me!" "Mom, I dropped the key in the toilet!" (We flushed it. Don't ask.) "Mom, I'm hungry!" "Mom, I'm thirsty!" "Mom, I can't breathe!" (Kidding. I'm kidding.) Demands, demands, demands! And yes, some are more important than others -- but damn if I don't find the "I"m hungry" demand just as annoying as the "Mom, look at this" demand.
I just want to say: "Leave me the hell alone!! Go wipe your own damn butt! Feed your own damn self!"
Ok. I don't. Of course I don't. I wipe the butt, I look at what they're doing, I feed them, bathe them, clothe them and even hydrate them on occasion. But...... Sometimes I'd rather be oh, doing just about anything else.
Then my parents came over today - to help me out. I wanted to take Max to see his camp before he starts on THursday. I can use the X's car, or we could take a bus (not far away) but I mentioned to my parents & they said they'd come out to drive us over. So they came over, took us all out for lunch & then we all drove over. And all they did was annoy me. Max would ask a question - I'd start to answer but my mom would just answer. Then I got Max these new water shoe/clogs & my parents BOTH kept telling him how he was going to fall & not to run. (As he was running.)
Also, stupid stuff like: "DId you get the medical form done?" "Have you labeled all his clothing?"
Ok, I just admitted I might not be the best mom - but that doesn't mean I don't do that sort of stuff! (Shit, where IS that medical form.....) And I know, I know, I KNOW - they are just being parents -my parents - and I shouldn't let it get to me. But it does. (And I'm not even PMS'ing, either!) And just because I"m letting the kids stay up a half hour longer because POwer Rangers was on at 8 and not 8:30 & I wouldn't let them put on toon Disney because I thought it wasn't on - even though they kept wanting to check & I stubbornly said NO YOU CANNOT and now I feel so awfully guilty that I'm letting them stay up to watch Cyberchase and get tired and be cranky tomorrow so they can be just as tired and annoying...
But, I'll be at work. (Heh, heh.)
(An aside: Just wondering - who the hell invented the yogurt in a tube? I mean, think about it? Somebody had to actually think that up....