Please forgive the absolutely positively exhautedly tired, probably rambly, total vent -- but I can see I'm not going to be able to get to sleep without getting this out. I'm so pissed off....
You guys know how I met w/X about three weeks ago to go over our mediation agreement. He bugged me, nagged me & pushed me to set up the date - saying that if I couldn't find somebody to stay with the kids then he would have his girlfriend stay w/them, etc, etc...
So, we met & he was all: "We have to get this resolved right away..." He made some suggestions/changes, etc that I said I had to think about. We agreed that HE would type up an email to the mediator with our ideas. Ok. Two days come & go after our meeting & he hasn't typed anything. SO - I type up a recap & how I feel about stuff & actions we need to take.
About a week later he asks me: "Any thoughts on what we discussed? Time is money, you know!" I told him that I had sent him an email, and he should read it.
Two weeks go by - I hear nothing. I email him this past weekend: What the heck is going on? Why is he not responding? Let's get going w/this....
He emails back one thing: "The sticking point is the $300 per month maximum in daycare, etc. Until that is resolved everything is moot, right."
He doesn't address ANYTHING ELSE in this LONG email that I sent, he has not answered ANY questions that I asked, or ANYTHING!!!
Plus, does he really fucking think that $300 per month is enough for child care for two children?!?! WTF?!??!?! By LAW he is supposed to pay pro-rata for child care. Since I saw how much he was paying for child support, knew what sort of bills he had to pay, and how much he was earning, I said that we did not have to do the pro-rata thingy & let him contribute $800/month for child care & agree to not contribute to extra-currics until Sept '07 - when both kids will be in public school & we won't need full time child care.
I totally gave in on everything, but like I said - I saw his reality & it wouldn't be in anybody's interest to bankrupt him.... and figured that if I wanted to do extra-currics... well.... I just would. (ALthough both parents are legally responsible for contributing pro-rata to that, too.) And figured the amount it would cost me would still be less than an attorney to fight it.
But now, if he's gonna stick on this.... and not just go to the pro-rata as of Sept '07..... shit I don't know what to do. It seems so crazy to go to a lawyer now - after we're 99% done!
He so doesn't see it. He sees it that I"m just taking all his money. But what he doesn't know is that I could be oh so much worse... (And when I mentioned that to him one time he was like: 'listen, I earn more, I have a full time job (which was then - not now!) and I can take custody of the kids! So don't start talking like you're the "good" one - I could go for more, too..." Yes, it's truly amazing the way his mind works, isn't it?
This divorce is as much of a friggin' nightmare as the marriage... although yes, I know, it could be worse... I'm lucky that he's so "good" to me.
It Takes Three To Land A Steelhead
3 weeks ago