Tuesday, November 07, 2006

It's all about me, me, ME!

So, here comes today's big confession: I'm a selfish, selfish woman. I simply cannot devote as much time and attention to my kids as they need.

The tough time is right after work. I come home, I need to read my mail, read my email, change out of my work clothes, and just really debrief myself. Problem is, of course, that my kids have not seen me all day and have lots of things to show and tell me.

And I just. Cannot. Deal. I have told them time and time again: "please, let me change into my sweats. Please, let me put down my bag, take off my shoes... just sit for a few minutes..." but they can't. And I can't. And it makes me feel so awful, and each day I say to myself: "Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will do all that stuff later and just focus on them when I get home." And I still can't.

If they wake me at 2, 3, or 4am - I can focus on them. In the morning, I can focus - but please, the time between 6-7 pm... I need it for ME. I just do.

1 comment:

Gwen said...

You are not selfish; you are human. You would feel this way even if you had a man around (heh) AND if you were staying home with them. When Jeff gets home, he wants some time to decompress, even though he completely loves his children. And I want to throw the children right at him and be done with them. I'm loving that way.

Oh wait, did you want a solution?

Hmmmmmm ......

Nope, don't have one.