(Something's going on with Blogger - there are no formatting options at all. No fonts, no colors, no nothing. So I'm sorry if this looks boring; you will just have to let the words carry you along without any other extra added bonuses.)
I've lost you all already, haven't I?
ANYHOW - had a super, amazing, wonderful, stupendous birthday weekend. Went out Friday night w/some friends & J (not that J isn't a friend... but you know. Let's not quibble.) It was lots of fun.
But, Saturday was the day that clinched the whole deal. (And oh, how I wish I had either bold or italics! Just imagine that "clinched" is in italics!) We had a nice relaxing morning, then went out for (bold) lobster (bold) which is my favorite food in the world - and went to see (underline) The Drowsy Chaperone after. (See, I"m just improvising - writing in the formatting and that will probably keep your interest longer than if I actually (bold) made the words bold. Makes you work a little bit.)
The Drowsy CHaperone was amazing. Funny, clever, different, beautiful music, great set, acting - wonderful... Just great, great, great.
But now here's the thing. Get back Sunday, meet Max at Hebrew school for a family program. X came too - w/Nathan - but soon left with Nathan as Nathan was getting a bit antsy. (Funny aside - earlier in the week I had asked X if I could get the kids earlier - so we could go out for brunch for my birthday. He complained that he gets little enough time with them - and then Hebrew School takes away the rest - so "no" I could not. I asked if I could have them an hour earlier? "No." BUT, but Friday... he tells me I can take them at 12:30 - right after the Hebrew school workshop. No explanation. HA! Funny guy that X, huh?)
(Bold) BUT ANYHOW - We do the family project at Hebrew School and walk back to our house. The whole time I"m still coasting on the post weekend buzz... enjoying re-living it in my head, thinking about J, how much I love him, how wonderful everything is... but who should interrupt? What?!? A Child?!? Leave me alone! Leave me to my reverie!!
But no. They do not. Not only do they not leave me to my reverie, but they are tired, cranky, and so bloody annoying I'm about ready to rip my hair out.
So, I make it through that, my Dad comes, picks us up & we go for a family birthday brunch. THe thing is, really, I don't want to do any of this. I probably would be happy just sitting on a rock still reliving the weekend. I just wanted to be with J. (HOrrible, I"m a horrible person - my family there, all around me, showering me with presents and good will... and I want none of it.)
This is, I"m finding out, the tough, weird part about the whole divorce, every other weekend thing. To be in one zone, and then so thoroughly and totally yanked out, and forced into the other... every other weekend. (Granted, not every weekend is as stupendous as this... but allow me a bit of dramatic licence.)
So, I've equlized a bit now, still feeling pretty good and so loving the card I got from Max (which I can't upload here, but you can see at: http://www.xanga.com/Pithy11375/552831206/a-birthday-card-from-max.html It's unfortunate that the chid does not yet know how to spell boogers - especially since it is one of my all time favorite words.. (ack!) but I really do love it. It's so him.
6 days ago