Yup, here I am. I'm in a writing mood, but the problem is.... I don't really have anything to write about. I wrote about it all over there - so I got nuthin' left. Nothing. Not a thing. And I knew that when I logged into this site. I said to myself: "Self, why are you logging into this site? You have nothing to write. On that site. Tonight." (Cracking up.)
Ahem, right. So. Back to the nothingness that is this blog post.... Hmm.... lets see... something is bound to come up...
Ok, well, how about this - its J & my ONE YEAR anniversary this Thursday. That's right, sports fans, one year! I don't know why, but I'm really, really excited about it. Not that I need a huge celebration or anything... but I don't know.... one year... Wowsa!
J said something to me like "oh yee of little faith"... meaning, I guess, that I was so surprised that we made it to one year... and of course, that got me thinking... Do I not have faith? Have I become so cynical? Why SHOULD it be such a big deal?
When I first started dating - a year after X moved out - it was a very strange learning experience for me: all of a sudden I became this FORTY YEAR OLD WOMAN WITH TWO KIDS WHO LIVES IN QUEENS. Not the 22 year old with no kids who lives in the West Village. I became this type. This inconvenient, old, out of the way type. I remember one guy on jdate telling me: "I'm sorry, I don't date moms."
I did manage to go out on quite a few dates.... (dontcha worry, I did ok!) but somehow they all imploded by the third date. Like a switch would go off in me and I would just no longer like the person.
I went out with EX for about 10 months or so... but I mean how do you really count that? He lives in another country. We saw each other once a month -- less than that, even. Then he (gasp!) broke up with me because he couldn't handle not seeing each other more often.
I dated a bit after that... and then I met J. And I liked him so much right from the very first date. Then the second date.. then I was so worried about the third -- would it happen? Would I suddenly not like him? I didn't want it to happen.... but it mysteriously did every time & I had no idea why!
Poof! Third date - didn't happen! Still liked him.
Heck, I think I could almost say this was love at first sight, really.
So why am I so hung up on this one year thing? I think I'm liking the idea of permanence... and this makes it just seem more so... in my mind, more solid. And, like I've said to J, this seems kinda silly but I like the idea of saying "remember last year..." and now having a point of reference!
I'm really not that difficult to please!
5 days ago