So, remember how I wrote over here about how Max and X had "words" while we were out for lunch the other day? Well, I had been thinking about it quite a bit the fact that they were both being so stubborn, and how Max was totally butting heads with X.
So, I mentioned it to my shrink & you know what she said? She said "Good for him!" He is standing up for himself. He has a strong sense of self and will not let himself be pushed around. By anyone. He will not lose himself with his father, like you did... you lost yourself. You did a really good job with him."
So, you know... hearing that... so many things to think about in that one statement. (Shrinks are good for that, aren't they? Guess you have to feel like you're getting your money's worth...)
So 1) Losing myself. I guess I did. I remember about a year after X moved out, when I was going out w/EX and I was walking down the street & all of a sudden actually felt lighter. I felt good. And I realized my smile was different. It was easier. Also, lighter. ANd I knew - it was like a physical reaction - that I was back again. Strange how the body and mind are so connected... but it really was an actual feeling of just being lighter. (And no - not because of the weight I lost! I"m not that shallow!!)
2) Max with strong sense of himself & standing up for himself. You know, I think both my boys do. They both advocate for themselves - and for each other. I really know when they are at school, camp, classes, whatever - that they will NOT do what they don't want, and they will speak up.
3) Me doing a good job. Well, honestly, as I've mentioned before -- I really CANNOT hear that enough. It's just the bestbestbestybestbest thing to hear.
Now go get 'em. Max!