With the beginnings of a migraine. Not so surprising. Although I was beginning to think that the migraines were just purely hormonal - happening the first Tuesday right after my period. (Really. They've been like clockwork, thank you peri-menopause....) So I'm not quite sure what's going on here..... middle of the cycle? Or just purely stress related? (Although if that's the case, honestly, why don't I have them every day?!?!) And you know what my very first thought was?!? OK - second after I realized "oh shit - better get up and take an Advil right this very second!" Maybe I won't have to fast this Yom Kippur. Yes. I'm such a good Jew.
OK. Lest the five people who read this blog think that my life is entirely doom and gloom, I'm going to write what I actually was planning to write about yesterday morning. After leaving the kids at school, when I actually began the day with a smile on my face. (Really. Walking down the street with a little grin!)
A big thing that's been going on in my life lately is getting my kids to school. Sounds trivial, I know... but I've lost my full time sitter AND they changed the start time of school from 8 am to 8:40 am. When I first knew I'd no longer have the sitter to take the kids to the bus or school in the morning I told my supervisor I'd probably be in by about 9:15 am... bus comes about 7:5-8:00 am... But then. Right. Time change.
So I've spent the past few months trying to work out solutions to not getting into work too late, and if I do... not having to stay too late to make up the time. I worked out a sort of convoluted plan to work later one day a week... BUT - the bus has been coming at the usual time... so it's been OK.
Now it seems they've changed it. There are two bus pick up times.... one at 7:50 - that's for the Extended day kids - so they get into school at the old 8 am time.... and one is 8:20 am.... for the "regular" kids. So, which bus do I put them on? Early, have them sit inside the school building (aides won't let them outside) so I can get to work on time, or later - which is better, but gets me to work later.... (This is getting really long. Sorry! But you know, I feel like you might need some background for this...)
SO - here's the thing. Max does not want to take the bus. At all. He wants to walk. He wants to get to school early so he can hang out with his friends outside and play ball. And the thing with this is - it has taken him up until this year to make a group of friends. He's social & everybody likes him... but he hadn't really connected with a "friend." At his last birthday party, he only wanted to invite two people and he has little or no play dates. So I'm really happy that he's settling in. The two boys he plays with are not in his class - so he only sees them before school, lunch and after....
So OK. Max wants to walk. But if we get there that early that means that Nathan... who is not yet so comfortable there - has to get there early and sit in the cafeteria. With the breakfast kids and any early kindergarten kids. It's isolating and a bit scary.
ALSO - walking them, or bringing them a bit later as a compromise messes MY schedule and brings me into work later. So there's that. A mix where really nobody is entirely happy.
BUT - yesterday (missed the bus) I bumped into Max's friends mom. The dad walks him to school Mon-Wed, she brings him Thurs - Friday. She said to me "Hey, how about I walk Max and Nathan when I go in with B?" I can stay here with them, watch them, then drop Nathan off when it's time to go in?"
Can I tell you? Can I just tell you? There I was, wracking my brain, trying to figure this all out... figuring I'd just have to be late to work every day, work later, so I could walk them every once in a while, so Max could have his social time and Nathan won't be there so early.... and wouldn't that totally, totally suck... and Poof! Solution!
So now, Mon-Wed they take the bus, and Thurs - Friday they walk. They all get to play outside (and can I also tell you about the heart swelling moment yesterday, when Nathan was playing ball with the "big kids" and me realizing how nice Max is... letting Nathan play with them, encouraging him... And Max's friends... also not saying "Max, why is your little brother playing with us?!?" But also encouraging him... Max waited a while to find friends... but they're good ones.)
So, the mom said "you can go, I'll watch them, I'll drop Nathan off..." and I left. Huge grin on my face Feeling really good. Thoughts like "it does take a village" and "sometimes things do work out" and "things are finally clicking" and "this will be a good year" floating through my head. And how I have to write about this in my blog... it just feels so good.... this moment...
Then of course the rest of the day happened - that I wrote about below. But I want it noted for the record that it started off perfectly fine, and that I'm really not as depressing as this blog might seem. Really! You can ask anyone! (Except all the people I complain to!)
1 week ago