Tuesday, October 23, 2007


I did it.

I talked to my super.

And quite honestly, it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. (Does that sound like a huge exaggeration? I'm sorry... but I actually think it might have been!)

I dropped the kids off at the bus, and as I was walking to the subway I saw him lounging in front of the building. (Not that I mean to imply anything about a super lounging... supers are allowed to lounge. They work very hard. When they're not lounging. Or maybe keeping watch for dogs! That's it! He was on a dog reconnaissance mission!) But I digress. So I saw him there, with his eye keenly peeled - on the look out for dogs with weak bladders... and I stopped a few buildings up and sat down. I ran through the entire script in my head. Again. And again. And ooohhhhh, 50 more times for good luck. Then I got up and walked over to him.

I said that I spoke to the Building Manager & we talked about the problem. I asked what specifically happened & he said he saw dog pee in the hallway - my floor - in front of the elevator. NOW - I had seen puddles there before, as had J -- and I told the super this. I also told him that 1) our dog wouldn't do that (our dog! Like how I say "our" dog!! Makes me happy.) 2) If, perchance he did - we'd of course clean it up! Super nodded. (He's the strong silent type, this super.. which makes my mission all the more difficult.)

I said... soooo..... because the manager said it was ok that we bring the dog back every once in a while, and because he could possibly cause a bit more work for you.... I'd like to give you...I reach into my purse and start to take out a folded bill... He shakes his head. No. He does not want it. He will not take it. I said "really?" I said: "But I don't want to feel funny. I don't want this to be extra work for you - I know this is a dog free place..." He was like "No. That's ok." I said well...ok then - have a good day.... and walked off to the subway. Feeling ill.

Honestly. I felt ill. Thought I'd be sick. I hadn't even thought he wouldn't take it! This "Hush Money!"

So now two things... 1) I'm not really sure if it's all resolved... and 2) You know how sometimes when you do something that's really difficult - and when you're done... when you do it you feel good. Like: "Hey, it was really hard, and I did it! Wow! Good for me!" Well, I don't feel that way. I just feel unsettled. I"m not so proud that I did that. And I don't really even think I did anything "wrong"... except maybe I did? I don't know. The whole thing is just so out of character for me!

(And on a side note - the laundry service that picks up and delivers our laundry... and brings it back all nice smelling and tied into little bundles... well - last week I wasn't there when they dropped it off. I told them that I wouldn't be there, so nobody would pay them. They said "No worries - we'll catch you next time." Sooooooo today they dropped off the laundry & didn't ask for last weeks. I didn't offer. Next week I'm going to. I thought about it. It's the right thing to do. And NO - it's not a reaction formation from the guilt from the bribe! No! It's not! I'm just like that.)

Somehow I feel like this whole dog, bribe/hushmoney/tip/whatever saga has not ended... that actually it has only just begun (cue either Carpenters "We've Only Just Begun" or foreboding organ music.)


Family Adventure said...

I LOVED how you described the reconnaissance mission. That was just too funny.

But I would feel awkward, too. why the heck couldn't he just have taken the money, already?

I hope he does not cause any trouble now. Cross fingers. Probably not, though. I bet he'll just move on and not make a big deal about it again.

You'll have to keep us posted on the continuing "Saga of the mysterious puddles by the elevator"

niobe said...

With any luck, he'll just forget about it.

While I doubt they'll be able to put you out on the street if the dog stays over a few times, are there any other options?

(My verification word is nomutt. Coincidence? I think not)

Julie Pippert said...

You did it!

And it sounds settled. I hope!

Using My Words

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I cant stop laughing at "hush money".!!

MadMad said...

Clearly, you need to move, there is no other solution. 'Cuz otherwise you're going to have to hide from this guy for the rest of your life, feeling guilty about the dog and the hush money. :)

Thanks for coming by my blog!

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy:
I am floored! You offered, "Hush Money?" What has this world turned into? You found a Super who won't take any, "Hush money?" Now I am shocked! But I've never known anyone who had their laundry done and then delivered to their home!
Here in WaldoLand some people still use "Clothslines", which by the way is a word often used by football analysts... "He put the clothsline on that running back..."
I love stories you city folks tell! It makes me worry about WaldoLand, though. Two days ago they gave a guy a $140 ticket for having "an indoor peice of furniture stored on the outside of a residence." (He had a rocking chair on his porch!) Tacky, yes, but $140...????? Now that's someone who should have been offered hush money, the cop that wrote that ticket..!!!! ~Waldo