Tuesday, April 15, 2008

So here's the thing...

This morning I was waiting with my kids for their bus. They are, like every other morning, all involved in the all important Pokemon Trading. All of them.

So I hear Nathan say: "I'm going to trade this fake Pokemon to Raphael. He won't know. I'll trick him."


I didn't know what to do.

I often feel like I "mother" my boys too much. The other day at Max's Little League game it was all I could do to stop myself from yelling across the field: "Tuck that string into your pants!" And forget about trying to fix Nathan's little league shirt, which hangs down almost to his knees... I'm very conscious that I'm a woman raising two boys. (Ok - there's a father involved, but most of their time is with me.)

So I'm about to say something like: "that's not very nice" but I stop. This is the "code" of the playground. It's kid stuff. You have to let them work out all this stuff on their own.

But then I (mentally) counter myself: "but what about morality? Aren't you supposed to teach them that?" Then I go on to say to myself: "They learn that in the playground, too. It's all part of it. You teach them the big stuff... but the little stuff has to sort itself out." Then, as if I haven't had enough I go on to tell myself: 'Yes, but if they don't want you to hear it - then they shouldn't say this stuff right near you." And I remind myself of how when I was a chaperon on a flight for North American exchange students going to Brazil. There were a LOT of exchange students on our flight - from the US and from Brazil. The one BIG rule for the kids I was chaperoning was no drinking... but all the Brazilians were. And these "kids" were going to be on their own, in a country with no drinking age.... SO - what do I do. I put my head phones on & went to sleep. BUT, at one point I turned around & two kids were behind me. Drinking beers. I told them to put it away. I said: "listen, if you're going to drink, have the good sense NOT to do it right near the chaperon." I mean, come on.

(Ramble much?)

SO. Where was I. Stuck in my early morning morality morass.

I didn't say anything.. but I'm not really sure it was the right thing to do. As we were walking back from Hebrew School this evening Nathan mentioned it again & I jumped right on it. This is the three of us walking together. This is not the same. So I did the ole' "don't do to people what you wouldn't like done to you" spiel & they nodded & were like "ok mom.. whatever..." and that was that.

But still.


Family Adventure said...

I'd have said something, too. Whatever occurs when I'm not around is one thing (and I know my boys aren't angels), but if I see it, I will make a point to comment on it.

Besides, I think you are right when you said that he mentioned it in front of you for a reason...

But as for what's the right thing to do...who the heck knows...!


Julie Pippert said...

I would absolutely have said something. I don't think that kids figure out these sorts of things on their own, per se.

If it seems like things are running all right or we're in a place where I know they are making good choices, okay, hands off.

But if they present a bad choice to me, oh yes, I'll say something.

Otherwise I'm afraid they'll grow up like too many people I've known, LOL.

You've got good boys. They'll do well.

Waldo Pharce said...

A question popped up when you were telling the story..... Where did he get it? Did someone trade it to him? How did he feel when he found out it was fake?
A lot happens at school that you know nothing about, but if you find out, then that changes things.
You are doing a great job.