I just looked (again) at Max's report card & a fresh wave of frustration just ran through my body.
He got an amazing report card. Really. Amazing.
His teacher who does not like to give "4" (above grade level) gave him nearly all fours in reading (the rest 3's) and two (out of four) 4's in Math.
He got threes (meets grade level standards) in everything else. Except one thing. All year he has gotten 2's in "Works and Plays cooperatively with others." Even last year (he had the same teacher) she gave him that.
The first time I was really annoyed that she would give him that grade without talking to me. If he's misbehaving, tell me. Don't just give him a bad grade, let's work on it. Fix it. But now I've learned that this is just how she is. I've learned the type of teacher and the type of student that he is - and well - whatever.
(And I have to add that he twos for past two grades in "Respects class and school rules" but went up to a three for this grading period. So. One two.
X calls me yesterday (you knew this would be about him when I said "frustration", didn't you?) before I saw the report card. "Max got a two." I respond, oh - the teacher never told me there was a problem. He's all "don't blame the teacher..." and I said I'm not - but if she is having a problem with him, it's also part of her job to tell us. We can help. We should know.
He goes on to say that he "talked to Max" and "Max cried." I said I'd talk to Max, too.
I got home & saw this amazing report card. I saw how he went UP in general behavior. And got amazing grades. He didn't want to show me the card. "I got a two." I told him how proud I was of him. I told him how many GOOD grades he got, how he went UP in behavior. I talked to him about NOT focusing on the ONE bad thing, but to look at all the good he did.
X called me later. "Did you see it? Did you talk to him." I said I saw it. I said how he went up in behavior (school rules) and asked X if he told Max how well he did in everything else? Why did he focus on the negative?
X responded that Max is "going to be a man" he has to work on these things.
I told X I had to go and hung up.
We were out for dinner with my parents. They came back & wanted to see the report cards. Max did not want to show his. My parents finally looked & also told him how proud they were of him.
(Not to leave him out! Nathan got all threes and two fours in Math!!)