Saturday, July 19, 2008

A Four Hour Tour

Well, it seems that X is really getting married. August 8th. He & his fiance invited J & I to the wedding celebration, but we'll be leaving for our summer vacation in Long Beach that day. (Did I mention we're going on vacation? Two weeks! We rented a house in Long Beach for all six of us!) But, I later found out that .... well... X really just invited me for free child care for the boys.


The wedding celebration is going to be dinner. On a boat. From 7-11 pm. Imagine if you will.... my boys... trapped. On a boat. For four hours. At night. (Sounds like something out of Go Dog, Go!)

But, when I spent the day with X last Wednesday - for summer camp visiting day - we came up with a solution. Nothing like planning your X's wedding day with your X. (Although I have to say, it really did NOT feel at all strange.)

He and his fiance really want the kids to be there. They really want to have them join in on the celebration. So. X asked me: "What would you do?" I said: "I'd have a brunch." He's all "no, really - what would you do?." And again I respond - I'd have a brunch. Then he goes: "But [fiance] wants a dinner -- if you had to have a dinner -- what would you do? Would you have the boys there?" And I respond (enjoying this way, way too much) "But I would never get myself into that situation! I'd just start off having a brunch." (Passive aggressive much?) I relent. I ask him: What does fiance want? He said that fiance really want's them there, but then every once in a while wonders what it could be like if they demand a lot of attention...and even though they would hire a sitter to stay with them.... one cranky child can really change a dynamic.

I agree.

So, I help him plan - what I think he might do is this: They are getting married @ City Hall that morning, then going for photos in Central Park. The boys will be with them, definitely for that part. Then I tell him - just all go out for a fun fancy ice cream filled lunch. Go to Serendipity. Tell the boys it's the family celebration. Make it a big deal. Then tell them you'll take them on a boat another time. They don't need to go to the "grown-up" celebration, because it really will be too much for them & fiance should not have to worry about how they'll be...

So, we'll see.

And you know, spending the day with him wasn't too bad. We had one tense moment talking about Hebrew School (Oy.) but that was it. It was nice to see him with the boys, because I never really get a chance to see that. It's good for me to get the other side of the picture, to see how they react to each other - how he really does love them...

BUT - don't think I'd want to do it again any time soon.


niobe said...

I certainly hope X listens to your excellent suggestions. Because you're absolutely right. But you knew that already.

Anonymous said...

I hope everything works out. You certainly deserve for things to go smooth. By the way.... When you and J. get married, will I be invited? You know I play a mean banjo and love it when the bride and groom step on the glass and everyone yells, "Mazzaltobh!!" I also would love to do the dances where everyone is in a circle and drinking wine!
Yours truly,