Sunday, October 22, 2006

As I was saying....

Well, as I was saying on the other blog, actually - X is moving in with his girlfriend. So I'm pretty much ok with it. At least I am in terms of the him moving on with his life aspect of it - but as I wrote HERE -and here (and there will be more, I promise!) there are a whole host of other issues that are bugging me about this.

So one of the things I've been thinking about is the whole when do the new boyfriends/girlfriends stay over? Or the whole sleeping arrangement thing. So far X has been sleeping in his girlfriend's bed - with the two kids - when they come over & she sleeps on the couch. THat can't last.

And probably my kids are two young to really understand the whole thing... (sex and all, I mean) but why do I feel so self conscious about it? Like I"m thinking - ok, once they see me in bed (sleeping, just sleeping!) with J - then that is when the trrauma will start! That is when they will think "My Dad is gone." I don't know. I don't know where that comes from. Because logically I understand that once they get to know the boyfriend/girlfriend it should progress naturally/organically... and seeing the person in the bed should NOT be anything but natural.

(And I was then, of course worrying about the whole sex before marraige thing - and "don't do what I do, do what I say." But H. reminded me I can just say: "No sex until you are a grown-up." WHich is probably much more realistic. So that helped me out of that potential moral morass.)

I wrote to X that we need to (should, I wrote should - not need too! Need to would be far to directive and nagging!!) talk about the sleeping arrangements - once he moves in w/his girlfriend. But now I'm thinking that maybe I'm really just putting up roadblocks for him & that isn't so important.

I don't know - this whole divorce/post divorce life is just too confusing for me. And also, I know myself - I think, think, over think, and then think again about stuff that should just be left well enough alone. And in the process, make myself just a wee bit crazy. And in terms of everything else, maybe this should just be put on the back burner for a while...

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