Yep. Interviewing new babysitters. Or trying to. I had one scheduled for last week, to come at 6:30 pm. At 6:45 pm I phone her. "Where are you?" "Oh" she replies "just got out of the doctor's office, is it ok if I come at 9 pm?" Yeah. Right.
Then the two last night who didn't show and didn't call. I didn't even bother calling them.
Tonight I had two, and one... well.... is making me think. Now, honestly, I wasn't floored by her. She was ok. But I don't need superstar, really, for an afterschool sitter... So, I would hire her... except for one thing. She has an infant.
This infant is only 4 months old. Only. Four. Months. Old.
I so, so don't want to be "That" woman. Or "That" employer, who discriminates because an employee has an infant. I don't. But. In spite of all best intentions... we know what it's like. They get sick. You don't get sleep. THey don't eat.... whatever.
She asked if she could bring him with her. To work. And again... I've always thought I'd be flexible with that sort of stuff... I so appreciate employers being that way with me... And it's good for my kids, having a younger child to grow with and learn about.... but... I asked her: "What if the kids need to go outside and it's rainy? Cold? How would that be? Or what if the kids are a little bit sick?"
She says oh no, no - that will be fine. And she also says that her mother is there. As back up (she's 23 years old). So if the baby's sick, or something, her mom can take it...
But you know, I have so many friggin' variables in my life... I can't have another! And this infant is, unfortunately, a huge variable.
But damned if I don't feel like the worlds' largest hypocrite.
April 1st
8 months ago
Posts
4 comments:
Alm, don't beat yourself up. You are just being honest about what you need in your life right now.
If you are able to get it to work with her, then give it a shot. But if you think it just won't work, then you would not be doing her a favour by trying it out for a few weeks and then dropping her.
But I hear you. It is hard - you feel that as women we should stick up for each other. I know, I know. Then reality hits. It sucks.
Heidi
Hmmm...what if you asked her to leave the baby with her mother every day after school instead of bringing him? But you're probably right that the whole thing is too much of a hassle.
You have to do what is best for your kids. I get why you feel that way, but you need stability and reliability.
I will say that my friend and I were going to nanny share, and the best candidate was a woman with a baby. I was so uncomfortable about it (same reservations as you...also dividing her attention among 3 children, it was inconceivable to me). But my friend hired her. And you know? She was fabulous. Extremely reliable and great. She appreciated a job that let her be with her kid and did her best, which was pretty great.
But, I'm not saying that's the right choice for you. This lady was great, not just okay.
I soooo feel for you about the crappy candidates. I was BOGGLED when hiring sitters. BOGGLED. HUGE demands, almost like no concept of what they were interviewing for...more money than I could fathom, but NO SKILLS to back it up.
Good luck. The good person will come along. Soon, I hope.
You know, I had a great comment, but in the interest of humanity, and anyone who doesn't understand my somewhat "over the top" comments, I chose not to share it here.
It is times like this, decision time, when all the talk stops and the YOU behind the curtain that no one else sees or knows must make a public declaration.
You chose to share with the world this decision. I guess you must know that you will make the right one. ~Waldo
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