Thoughts on X's, boyfriends, and just stuff....

So, I know I've mentioned that this it the big month - the one where we (X & I) split our accounts. I think I've also mentioned that he had told me that he would no longer take the kids every other Monday - just every Wednesday and every other weekend. THat it was too difficult for him to get home before 6:30 pm two nights a week.

In liu of that we had decided that I would have "wildcard" nights - two a month - where I could ask for an extra night.

Soooooo, I had asked the X a few times if he was going to go to an art show Nathan's school was doing - and if he was - which night. I wanted to invite my parents - and wanted to know when he was going & if he'd feel comfortable.

He never answered the question. Finally he told me to email him the info. I did. No answer. So, today I called him & left a voicemail message. He calls back. I answer the phone & he sounds BAD. I ask if he's ok. No, he's feeling "down." Oh no. This is how it always starts....

I ask him about the 17th - which is a wednesday - if he'd take the kids. He's taking them the 15th, because I"m going out w/some friends - but I'd like to have another night.

His first response: "I think I"m paying too much money for a guy who has his kids as often as I do."

Really. That's what he said. He sees them, what - MAYBE 10 nights a month?

Then he starts going off about how I need to make more, and if I've gotten a raise & how I make stuff up... and in the end I said to just forget the 17th.

Then I went out with my boyfriend (a term I don't really like, but have nothing else to replace it with). I tell ya' guys - it's pretty good. Yep.

It's a strange thing, now, dating again & the whole kids thing. Like when he stays over I'm always worried that the kids will come back before he leaves - or if he meets me in the morning to commute to work together - that the kids will see us as they're coming back from the X's, or on their way to school...

And it sucks to have it be like that. So...... furtive and all. And all I want to do is introduce them! Who wouldn't?!? I mean, I'm the person who has always introduced ALL my friends to each other. Half my friends are friends because they met through me! So of course I want to introduce all the important people in my life to each other.

And of course that begs the question: "How do you know when it IS the right time to tell them..." But I guess like most other things in parenting -- I'll just wing it.

You know, there really was going to be "other stuff" - because there's not a lack of stuff going on in this head - but I gotta stop now & relax & go to sleep.

'night.