Friday, July 14, 2006

Just flying along....


So I'm still flyin' from everything this past week. Amazing weekend, amazing boyfriend, amazing job. Just amazing.

Unfortunatly, my friend Gwen is correct (see her comment in previous post). My X will probably give me plenty to write about.

I've decided not to tell him about the full time offer. He has a history of always killing my buzz. Everytime I have something good to tell him, he'll find some reason to knock it down... just like if I ever had anything that was bothering me & I told him about it - he'd find something "worse" going on with him to complain about. Never heard or acknowledged me, my problems. Or, worse, if I'd mention that I felt insecure/upset/uncomfortable about something he'd find a way to use it against me at a later date. Like finding the chink in somebody's armor & just keep poking at it and poking at it....

I know, I know - real nice guy. I have no "real" reason why I stayed, except that I kept hoping, kept getting these inklings, that he might change... And that if he was going through stuff, if he wasn't "well" then as his wife I should stay with him and help him through it....

But how did I get here? Guess it's on my mind now - because things are so good & just in comparison to how it was not so long ago... I keep thinking about it... and just keep feeling so.... good.... (Sorry if this is getting a bit maudlin. But sometimes a bit of maudlinness (?!?!) is good for a blog. Dontcha think?) BUT ANYHOW - I'm not going to tell him. My income has not changed - so I don't think I need to.

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