I posted this over there, too.
Today at work I have spoken to one client's brother and another client's daughter. Both clients need care at home.. almost desperately. And both the brother and the daughter were.... well... less than agreeable.
No. That's too strong. I think they want to help -- but they're caught in their own messes... finances, illnesses, family stuff.... and it's so hard.
You know, you only get homecare through insurance when you're sick. And if you have managed care you might get 2 hours every other day for two weeks. Not really so much for 1) a person who is blind and also has neuropathy in her hands and feet - so can't feel (read braile, dial phone) or walk (needs to use walker - but can't because can't see....) or 2) person with parkinsons who had a fall and has bruised coxyx and fractured pelvis. Is in severe pain now & on vicodan. Is incontinent - needs diaper changed. No. Not so much at all.
And still - what are these family members obliged to do? Do they say - I will help at whatever cost? What about their immediate families? What if they never got along with my clients. What if my client was a mean, abusive parent?
It's horribly frustrating for me - in the position of needing/wanting to help these clients & their choices are so few. The two hours through medical insurance that will stop in about a month. Medicaid. To go on medicaid you have to "spend down" (meaning use up) all your money & live on next to nothing. Or hire an attorney to help you "hide" it. But for the middle classes... that's not an option. Private Hire. Private hire homecare starts at $10/hour. TEN DOLLARS AN HOUR. And that's cheap. It goes up to $17... $20... Who can afford that? Not an option for middle classes, either. I have a client who has a live-in for $200/day. She cooks, cleans, does everything - and sleeps on a cot in his living room - a room with a window without any shades.
I hate this bloody system. I hate how our old and infirm are just tossed out there - and how only the very rich or the very poor are able to access services.
It's like banging my head on the wall.