Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I'm in a BAD Mood

You know how sometimes it's the little things that set you off? Yeah. It's like that. I called one of the class mothers from Nathan's old school. I had purchased a DVD of his graduation ceremony & realized I never received it.

She's like "Well, I'm right on 108th Street, I have a doorman, you can come by anytime and pick it up."

When I asked if she could mail it she was like "No. Not going to the post office." Which is entirely reasonable. Really. (Especially if you know the hell that is the Forest Hills Post Office.)

But.

That just totally set me off. The thing is.... there is NO TIME I can ever get over there! I swear! During the week I have to come rightbacktomyhome rightaway rightfromthesubway donotpassgo donotcollect100dollars. And once home? With the kids? Can't really go out again. I don't have a car (don't really need one here...) so for us to go anywhere we have to walk, bus or subway. Trapped. I'm trapped.

And on weekends, in Manhattan with J from Friday post work on - or doing things with just me & kids. So if we do it then we ALL have to walk over to this woman's house.

And it's so silly. It's such a little thing. But sometimes it's the little things... (Said that already? Yeah. I know.)

And I say to her: "But, I'm a single mom, I work all day, I have the two little kids at home, I don't have a car... It's nearly impossible for me to get over there." And she says "Well, I'm at home with my kids all day long, and it's difficult, and I can't do it." But... ummmm? What do you do when the kids are in school? Couldntcha do me a favor?

Then I feel like a loser, using the single mom thing... but it's the truth! If there was another adult here I could stop off on my way home. I could run over (or the other adult could.... telling me to sit on the couch eating bon bons while they go out to fetch whatever it is I desire....) but it could be done. And am I wrong using that card? The "Single Mom" card? Maybe. Maybe I'm jealous that she has that other pair of hands... maybe I'm wrong in assuming that things are easier for her - just by virtue of that. I probably am.

Ack. So, maybe I'm a wee bit hormonal... but sometimes it just feels like everything is such a frigging EFFORT. And I get used to it - but then something minor like this comes up & it's just so frustrating....

And

Well.

Just: Ugh.

2 comments:

Lisa said...

You're so right it is always the little things that break us. I don't think I could have coped on my own when the kids were younger - sometimes it's tough enough now. I'm really sorry that things are rough right now and I hope they improve soon. I know what you mean about playing the 'single mom card' but you know sometimes we just need to remind people how things are. I have been known to pull out the "my husband's in Iraq" card in times of extreme stress and do feel a bit guilty about that too.

Loverville said...

Really... couldn't that woman just have guessed the weight of the CD and dropped it in a mailbox? That's not so difficult.

I give you a LOT of credit, being a single mom -- hang in there! I'm in my mid/late 30s, still wrestling with the thought of "do I want kids?"... of course, I'd want to meet the right guy first, so it's moot right now...