And on to other things...

Can I just say how much I love my "Internet friends"? Can I? You guys are great (esp the face punching part!)

I contacted the mediator who says she does not feel comfortable recommending an attorney. So, I called a woman I work with - an elder law attorney I recommend to many of my clients & she's going to call a few friends to see if they know anybody.. at least somebody for me to talk to. She will also tell them of my income restrictions - since she knows I'm an underpaid social worker! Soooo... we'll see what happens.

And oh. X is surprised I'm pushing for this... since I apparently value family so much... why would I keep the boys from him. Then the next sentence he says his girlfriend wants to move to Brooklyn to get a two bedroom (so the boys will have their own room.) Brooklyn. No car. So I just asked X: "Why is it when we first split you said you would live nearby? See the boys often? Help with homework? And now you're moving to Brooklyn? What about Little League on Saturday mornings? That's quite a subway ride..." He hasn't answered. Putz.

BUT!!! NEW BABYSITTER!!!! AMAZING!!! This girl is absolutely great. She just started her junior year in HS & while I was worried about her youth -- it's really turning into a benefit.

She plays with the boys, asks them questions, makes everything a teaching opportunity. Yesterday Max did NOT want to do his homework book report. He was overwhelmed from the day & just kept saying "I can't do it." We got into this whole power thing & nothing was happening. I left the room, then hear him laughing. She is sitting with him & within a half hour the report was written!! No joke!!

I called up a friend and said that I feel like a burned out old hag. All I can do is yell, try to convince, bribe or threaten. I feel like I've forgotten everything else. Sitting. Laughing. Thinking outside the box....

She was like "Well, that's why you hire somebody else!" But still. I don't know... it's just kinda depressing that you get to the point with so much on your mind, so many stresses... that you lose that part. Or, I shouldn't generalize it -- that *I* have lost that part. At least I feel like I have.

This morning both kids went to school at the same time. It swelled my heart to see Max take Nathan's hand and talk to him about school. Then when they were going in, he put his arm around his shoulder. He introduced him to people. He said "Don't worry, Nathan - I'll show you where to go." I left feeling very secure. His brother will be there to look after him.

OK. So maybe I'm a burnt out old hag, but I guess I'm doing some things right...