It's Back!

I have NO FRIGGIN' IDEA what happened - but the blog format is back.

And the problem with this is, what?

I loved this story...

Woman asks 911 to send 'cutie pie' deputy

ALOHA, Ore. - A woman who called 911 to get "the cutest cop I've seen" sent back to her home got a date all right — a court date.

The same sheriff's deputy arrested her on charges of misuse of the emergency dispatch system. Washington County Sheriff's Sgt. David Thompson told KGW-TV of Portland it all started with a noise complaint called in last month by neighbors of Lorna Jeanne Dudash. The deputy sent to check on the complaint knocked on her door, then left.

Thompson said Dudash then called 911, asking that the "cutie pie" deputy return. "He's the cutest cop I've seen in a long time. I just want to know his name," Dudash told the dispatcher. "Heck, it doesn't come very often a good man comes to your doorstep."

After listening to some more, followed by a bit of silence, the dispatcher asked again why Dudash needed the deputy to return.

"Honey, I'm just going to be honest with you, OK? I just thought he was cute. I'm 45 years old and I'd just like to meet him again, but I don't know how to go about doing that without calling 911," she said.

"I know this is absolutely not in any way, shape or form an emergency, but if you would give the officer my phone number and ask him to come back, would you mind?"

The deputy returned, verified that there was no emergency and arrested her for misusing the 911 system, an offense punishable by a fine of up to several thousand dollars and a year in jail.

Thompson said Thursday it was the first case he knew of in which someone called the emergency line for such a personal reason.

"That's taking up valuable time from dispatchers who could be taking true emergency calls," he said.

Just flying along....

So I'm still flyin' from everything this past week. Amazing weekend, amazing boyfriend, amazing job. Just amazing.

Unfortunatly, my friend Gwen is correct (see her comment in previous post). My X will probably give me plenty to write about.

I've decided not to tell him about the full time offer. He has a history of always killing my buzz. Everytime I have something good to tell him, he'll find some reason to knock it down... just like if I ever had anything that was bothering me & I told him about it - he'd find something "worse" going on with him to complain about. Never heard or acknowledged me, my problems. Or, worse, if I'd mention that I felt insecure/upset/uncomfortable about something he'd find a way to use it against me at a later date. Like finding the chink in somebody's armor & just keep poking at it and poking at it....

I know, I know - real nice guy. I have no "real" reason why I stayed, except that I kept hoping, kept getting these inklings, that he might change... And that if he was going through stuff, if he wasn't "well" then as his wife I should stay with him and help him through it....

But how did I get here? Guess it's on my mind now - because things are so good & just in comparison to how it was not so long ago... I keep thinking about it... and just keep feeling so.... good.... (Sorry if this is getting a bit maudlin. But sometimes a bit of maudlinness (?!?!) is good for a blog. Dontcha think?) BUT ANYHOW - I'm not going to tell him. My income has not changed - so I don't think I need to.

Big News

First off, I once again have to appologize for the wacky formatting on this blog - with my profile all the way down on the bottom like that. I have no idea how to fix it & it's bugging the crap out of me.

So, the big news. I am no longer a part-time worker. I have been hired full-time by the agency where I work. It just happened today & I'm just so overwhelmed....

The agency where I work lost some funding, and instead of eliminating a job (which would have probably been mine, since I was the last hired & part-time) merged it with another. So, now I'm doing mine, plus another job -- which is ok, since I wasn't so over worked & will be adding on two days. And the salary is a decent social work salary. Not Prada and vacations on the Riviera -- but it's ok.

It's just that I think about last year. Or the last few years...and I was so miserable. DIdn't like my job, was not happy at home, was stressed, was miserable. Then, the X moves out two May's ago - right before I graduate w/my MSW. The first year was tough, but by the 2nd I started dating again & things started to get a bit better... I met E-X and things started to get even more better. Then I got fired, and the summer was just dreadful. Spent June & July looking, looking, looking - while the X kept badgering, badgering, badgering.....

Then, I got this job offer - beginning of August. I told the person who offered me the job that I would take it. But that I would keep looking for full time and for another part time. Got the other part-time -- but frankly, it was so difficult.... two jobs, two kids, ex-husband, babysitter, then boyfriend.... trying to keep it all straight....

THe thing is, this place was so great - I just decided that I didn't want to leave, I would not look for another full time job. I'd just make it work with various part-times. I had been through so many jobs... I wanted to be settled. And this place is so great; people work well together, listen and talk to each other, the managment realizes that work is not the be-all and end all of your life -- that you have other stuff going on.... They expect the job to be done, but treat you like adults. Plsu, the benefits are good!

It's just so amazing to me that things are really starting to fall into place. Have a great boyfriend, kids happy, good job.... Heck, I'm not going to have anything else to write about!

And so it begins...

This morning Max asked me for $5. He said that "all the kids" bring $5 and that they take the money and "hang out."

Huh?!?

Umm, hang out? Where? During which activity? All the while I'm frantically thinking "what kids hang out? where? What sort of supervision? WHat's going on here?!?!"

THen he goes: "Kidding! I'm kidding! I only mean that some kids bring some money for snacks and could I do that?"

Wait, wait, WAIT! Kidding?!? I knew about the snacks, they told us that some kids bring money for snacks @ the vending machine... but I figured I'd send one along with him. I actually packed yummy peanut butter crackers in his backpack today.

But I was so relieved, and at that point SO recognized that he's really getting older, and that giving him a dollar or two to get a snack is a kinda cool treat. Plus I grew up with parents who always gave me the "healthy" snack & I always coveted everybody elses.. and now LIVE for Lucky Charms cereal... so... I figure it's won't kill him every once in a while. (Plus the kid never sits still - his weight maintains itself.)

AND I was so releived that he actually WASN'T going to "hang out." I asked him why he thought of that to say to me & he said he thought I wouldn't let him get a snack... so he phrased it like that. If he only knew what sort of images the term 'hanging out" conjurs with me. I was a teenager! I know!

I'm not ready for this "hanging out" stuff. I'd much rather keep him stuffed with snacks....

Is it just me?

Tell me - do you guys see the whole right hand side of my blog all the way down at the bottom of the blog?! What's that all about?!? WHat's going on? How do I fix it?!? I tried looking at the html code, but let's be serious here - wtf to I know about html code?!?! Absolutely NOTHING (say it again!) Any answers for me?

It's been so long

For the past few years my sister has doggedly invited me to accompany her and some friends to the Concert in the Park at Central Park. Each year, I can't - usually for reasons involving the X and my kids: 1) Kids too little, 2) No childcare, 3) Boring X.

But tonight - if you can believe it - I'm going! I'm starting to think that maybe the planets ARE all aligning! Maybe the perfection that I anticipated upon the purchase of my palm pilot is Really Happening!

Think about it: 1) Perfect weekend away, 2) Concert on Great Lawn. What else do you need?!?! (Ok, so the kids both peed in my bed the other night, but I'm so feelin' the love I told them they could pee in my bed whenever they want!)

(No. I'm kidding. They pee again - they get sent to reform school.)

Still have the post-vacation buzz...

Had a great, amazing, super, fantabulous time in Newport. We had perfect weather, stayed at a place that was perfectly located, had perfect food, perfect drink, my hair always looked perfect, my clothes fit perfectly, I was perfectly witty, as was he, and we were just the perfect couple in our perfectly perfect world of perfection.

I'm being silly, but it really really was great. It's amazing to me, but each time we're together I just grow to like him more and more.... to the point where it's really overwhelming to me. I've been doing lots of thinking about this. (Ok, so, I do lots of thinking about everything. My navel has been gazed at so much that it feels like it's living in it's own reality TV show!) (This is, of course, not to be confused with the Naval gazer - the person who loveslovesloves Fleet Week!) Living with somebody who was so miserable to me - I was able to get up a pretty good shell & probably have accumulated enough credits for at least a Ph.D. in rationalization. I think that EX did a pretty good job at hacking at it -- the shell, that is -- but I also think that having him live so far away... and while there was the chance he would move here... well...let's just say now he just found out it wouldn't be at least for another four years... so... Pretty safe way for me to get back in.

So, I think now it's really starting to hit me. This is real. It's official. I love him.

Ahhhhhhhh

Do you hear that sound? Come on, lean in a bit more.... closer.... closer.... now, do you hear it? It's the sound of me relaxing! Yes! Oh, you're saying you've never heard that before - so why should I expect you to know what it is? Ok. Fair enough. I'm not even sure I recognize it myself... but I'm feelin' pretty good - and that's the emotion of choice at the moment.

AND, to make that relaxation even more complete... J and I are going to Newport, RI this weekend! (And the Crowd Went Wild!) I know. I can hardly believe it myself!! We are staying at the Jailhouse which is kinda funny considering they don't even know us and they've already decided where we belong. (Ok. Poor, poor joke. But staying at a place called "The Jailhouse" just screams out for poor poor jokes. Doesn't it?)

So, right now I'm trying to decide what to pack. Two nights, two days. Not too difficult, right. Right. But remember who is typing this blog, and the issues I even had getting myself dressed for WORK this morning!!! (And did I ever tell you that I forgot to pack jeans when I went to NZ? Oh. I did? Well, it's a good story - could you blame me!?!)

So, we got the night-time outfit dilemma: pants vs skirt vs dress. What will the weather be like? Then daytime- shorts, shirts... Pants? Shoes? And..... the dreaded... BATHING SUIT! Even last summer - at my skinny skinniest I managed to avoid it. So, ok. I put it on.... And..... I guess I won't sent crowds screaming away in horror, but .... ok - saw the little wee bit of backfat (which I never thought of before ever in MY LIFE until I read that stupid NYTimes article!) and - ok -- here goes. I'm gonna say it.

Idon'tlookperfect.

Passable, though - and guess I'm gonna have to deal with that.

So, you know I won't be postin' this weekend - but I'll have boatloads of photos upon my return - so start resting your eyes now...

Stop me, stop me, stop me!!

Was it here where I wrote about not wearing something new until it was a "special" time? Well, I went out on Friday & bought a bunch of new t-shirts (you know, the nice-ish ones)& now I'm getting dressed & .......................................... I. Cannot. Put. Them. On.

I keep opening up the closet, looking at them, and thinking: "what am I going to wear today?"

Stop it, me!! Put on one of the damn shirts, get dressed and go to work!

So, whaddya think? Is it official? I need help. I obviously just need more clothes.

(P.S. - that's not me in that photo.) :)

Found it!

So guess what, ya'll!! I found it! I found the book I knew I had but thought was lost: Suzuki Beane!

I remembered loving it when I was growing up - about a "beatnik" child living in The Village. THen, when I tried to find it for my kids - saw that it was out of print & cost WAY TOO MUCH for me to spend on a book....

It's so different, and I love how it has such the NYC feel...

So psyched!

Also found: Amy and the New Baby - which my parents got me when my brother was born. Hop, Little Kangaroo, & a buncha others that all bring back various memories.

Can't wait to read 'em to the kids -- who are somehow not as excited as I am....

Happy 4th!

So here's the thing: I wrote this whole, kinda FOurth of July post on my "other Blog." so I'm not going to write another one.

Also, computer's going wonky and I'm tired, tired, tired.

(I have no idea why two flags were posted instead of just one. I promise - that in no way was meant to at all defame the flag. Don't report me.)

Sleeping like a baby

Last night - for the first time in quite a while - I had my bed to myself. Slept like a rock. Went to sleep and woke up in the exact same position. Almost freaky.

YOu know, I love my kids, and I can think of nothing better than sharing my bed with J - but I have to say, one of the first things I noticed about life without the X was how nice it was to have my bed to myself. (The nights the kids were over at the X's.) That and going to the bathroom with the door open. (Was that too much information?)

It's just that I honestly have not ever had much of my own space. I grew up sharing a room with my sister, went to college -had roommates, after college lived in Manhattan with roommates - then met the X. I had one year "on my own" in my miniscule studio. (Really, this place was small. Some people couldn't come in because they'd have a claustrophobia attack. But, funny thing - the bathroom was HUGE.)

I loved, loved, loved, loved, LOVED having my own space. When I first moved in I didn't go out for a while (no, no - went to work & stuff - just not other activities). I just enjoyed the quite sanctity and solitude of my own space... Nothing quite like it.

So, last night - kids at X's, J not able to stay over & I luxuriated in my own bed and my own space.

And yes, yes, I know - the next post should be about how I should spend the summer making sure the kids learn how to stay in their own bed - it's not doing anybody any good. Last summer felt too guilty about the Big Split of X & I to do it - now it's enough time.

And oh - last night talking to my Dad. "You know, your mom & I were talking about how well the kids are doing - and maybe it is yet to happen - but they haven't really had any trauma from your break-up (why do I use that euphemism?). I's a testament to you - and I suppose the X - that they've been doing so well."

"Yet to happen?!?!" WTF?!?! I think that'll have to be another post too - gotta get into the shower.

Traitors!!

Last night I went out with J, my boyfriend, and H, my best friend. They hadn't met before. It was lots & lots of fun - as I knew it would be.

BUT - here's the thing - we're talking & not sure how it came up in conversation but they BOTH divulged that they do not like Pineapple Lumps. (And those of you who think I am devoting too much of this blog time to the Lumps - I say, if you don't like it...... come on.... guess... what am I going to say?!? It's so obvious! You'll be so upset with yourself if you don't get it! LUMP It!!! Hee, hee, hee...!!!!

So, anyhow, as I was saying....

One of them mentions it & the other was like "Yeah, she had me try one, too - and I didn't have the heart to tell her - they're so sweet! I couldn't eat any more of it!"

THen they both went on for a good five minutes about how sickeningly sweet the lumps are, and how they couldn't possibly ever eat more than a mere slivre. Not knowing that I had almost single handedly polished off an entire bag.

Oh well. Good. More for me.

An Act of Altruism

So, you won't guess what I did today. You won't. I promise. But try. Guess. One little wee guess! It has to do with something I've written about recently....

Oh ok, ok - I'll tell you: I gave up a lump. A pineapple lump. Now, I want you to fully understand the significance of this. I like candy, it's true. And I like chocolate - that is also true - but I usually have pretty good will power. Like I have this box of delicious chocolates that my wonderful boyfriend got for me & I'm waiting for us both to eat them. Unfortunately, it seems that we just always start watching videos & forget about them.... !!!!

But, I'm saying this to put it into some sort of context for you. I love the lumps. I have devoured the bag - except for about 5 of them. (ANd oh, ok - the bunch I brought to the office last Friday .... so I suppose I shared a bit -- but honestly: I cringed when they took seconds...)

But, I was eating some today, and who should come over - but Max. "Mom, can I have a lump?" Caught!!

I gave him one, and we talked about how they're my most favorite candy - and how they only have them in New Zealand & how his dad said that we could never move to NZ because I"d eat too many of them. (Luckily he does not realize the tone that statement took when it was directed at me - from X.)

He thought it was so cool. So...... I....... I...... I still can't believe it but..... I....... (suspence killing you?)

Gave him a bunch as a surprise in his snack tomorrow for lunch.

My bad

I had my kids this weekend, and by the end of the weekend (which I suppose is just about now) I just feel like maybe I'm not such a good mom. (And I just tried to do a google image search for a photo of a bad mom & apparently many, many, many moms also think of them selves as "Bad Moms" - for whatever that's worth. Oh, and that woman who drove her kids into the water - don't remember her name.)

I don't know, I just don't have patience. "Mom, look at this!" "MOm, get me that!" "Mom, let's do this!" "Mom, wipe me!" "Mom, Max is sitting on me!" "Mom, I dropped the key in the toilet!" (We flushed it. Don't ask.) "Mom, I'm hungry!" "Mom, I'm thirsty!" "Mom, I can't breathe!" (Kidding. I'm kidding.) Demands, demands, demands! And yes, some are more important than others -- but damn if I don't find the "I"m hungry" demand just as annoying as the "Mom, look at this" demand.

I just want to say: "Leave me the hell alone!! Go wipe your own damn butt! Feed your own damn self!"

Ok. I don't. Of course I don't. I wipe the butt, I look at what they're doing, I feed them, bathe them, clothe them and even hydrate them on occasion. But...... Sometimes I'd rather be oh, doing just about anything else.

Then my parents came over today - to help me out. I wanted to take Max to see his camp before he starts on THursday. I can use the X's car, or we could take a bus (not far away) but I mentioned to my parents & they said they'd come out to drive us over. So they came over, took us all out for lunch & then we all drove over. And all they did was annoy me. Max would ask a question - I'd start to answer but my mom would just answer. Then I got Max these new water shoe/clogs & my parents BOTH kept telling him how he was going to fall & not to run. (As he was running.)

Also, stupid stuff like: "DId you get the medical form done?" "Have you labeled all his clothing?"

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!

Ok, I just admitted I might not be the best mom - but that doesn't mean I don't do that sort of stuff! (Shit, where IS that medical form.....) And I know, I know, I KNOW - they are just being parents -my parents - and I shouldn't let it get to me. But it does. (And I'm not even PMS'ing, either!) And just because I"m letting the kids stay up a half hour longer because POwer Rangers was on at 8 and not 8:30 & I wouldn't let them put on toon Disney because I thought it wasn't on - even though they kept wanting to check & I stubbornly said NO YOU CANNOT and now I feel so awfully guilty that I'm letting them stay up to watch Cyberchase and get tired and be cranky tomorrow so they can be just as tired and annoying...

But, I'll be at work. (Heh, heh.)

(An aside: Just wondering - who the hell invented the yogurt in a tube? I mean, think about it? Somebody had to actually think that up....

Spring

Yes, I know - it's already summer. What's your point?

Since we're talking about weight...

Well, we were - kinda - were'nt we? The X sent over yesterday a bag of Pineapple Lumps yesterday. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned the favorite LUMPS before - but not even sure which blog. I love Pineapple Lumps. (Did I say that? Is that already evident?)

Ok - I should get to the point already. X phoned yesterday morning, asking if I'd make one of the kids breakfast & mentioning that his mom had sent over a bag o' lumps. (X is from NZ - family lives in NZ) so I grabbed the ball and ran with it! (Is that the correct sporting analogy?) I'll make the lunch, you send over some lumps. He agreed & when I thought he'd just be sending a few, he sent over an entire BAG.

Put 'em in the freezer -- but I tell you I cannot, cannot, cannot and cannot stay away.
it's horrible. Just when I really want to try to watch what I'm eating (reference previous post) I have the lumps. And the thing is, I generally have good will power, but this.... they have some sort of pull over me, or something.... I keep getting drawn back to the freezer....

I guess my only hope is that I"ll just eat them all in a day - then they'll be gone - then that'll be it. And I will be transformed into a walking pineapple lump.

Whaaatttt?!?!

Just reading this article in the times: It's a little freaky to me. No, it's a lot freaky to me -as I find myself freaking out that I've gained like, two pounds. I have such envy for people who are just comfortable and at home in their bodies - no matter what. I mean, it's one thing to feel good w/your body when you're at your peak - but are you always? Like here, I was feeling fine - then gain a bit & I'm feeling all self conscius....

BUT STILL - I can't imagine everevereverever getting to the point where I"d inflict lipopain on mysef - especially in those obscure areas.... Jeez - I can't even get a bikini wax!

Do My Knees Look Fat to You?


By NATASHA SINGER
Published: June 15, 2006
LOVE handles, saddlebags, turkey wattle. Self-conscious women have been trying to reduce those body areas for years. But now, with more efficient diets and fitness routines, women are turning to more obscure anatomical zones. The newest worries? "Bra fat" and "back fat."

Buff Enough? Not yet? Micro liposuction can take a few ounces off the knees.
"I had a little roll of fat hanging over the back of my jeans, like a spare bicycle tire in the back," said Dana Conte, a bartender in Manhattan. It was so obvious that her mother constantly came up behind her and pulled her shirt down over it, Ms. Conte said. "When your mother is doing that, it means there's a problem."

Ms. Conte, 34, says she has an hourglass figure that attracts whistles as she walks along the street. To get rid of the back fat, she tried working out — "like a lunatic," she said — five days a week. Then, she enrolled in Weight Watchers. When neither worked, she turned to plastic surgery.

Last August, she had liposuction on her lower back around her waistline, and in January, she had liposuction again, this time on her mid- and upper-back to eliminate "bra fat," bulges that can occur when "your bra pushes lumps of fat down your back and up over the bra fastening and to the sides right near your arms," Ms. Conte said.

The total fee for both procedures, $10,000, was well worth it, she said.
Last year, Americans had about 455,000 liposuction operations, making fat removal the most popular cosmetic surgery procedure, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. But in the last two to three years, liposuction, once used predominantly to reduce the flabby abdomens, hips and thighs of average Americans, has become a tool to enhance the near-perfect body parts of the already fit.

For this designer-body approach, an increasing number of doctors are using a technique known variously as precision, selective or micro liposuction. The goal is to remove an ounce or three of fat from ankles, knees, chins, necks, backs and upper arms, according to some prominent plastic surgeons and dermatologists.
"This is mostly for people who do not need much work done," said Dr. Luiz S. Toledo, a plastic surgeon in São Paulo, Brazil, who has taught the technique to American surgeons at their annual medical meetings. "It's liposuction for skinny people."

But some sociologists and medical ethicists say that using liposuction — which can cause complications ranging from infection to death — for such tweaks raises profound questions about the increasing risks cosmetic doctors and patients are willing to take in the name of perfection. They say these microprocedures may signal a shift in beauty standards in which people come to regard the body the way they do their cars or kitchens: as an object able to withstand never-ending renewal and modification.

And they worry that the idea of precision liposuction carries an inherent suggestion that everyone should have surgery, even those who are already beautiful.

"The goal posts are changing so rapidly that what was once considered cosmetically unnecessary is now considered helpful," said Victoria Pitts, an associate professor of sociology at the City University of New York, who teaches a course called Sociology of the Body. "As calves, ankles, knees and even genitalia become zones of perfectibility, we will feel more and more pressure to get involved in projects that improve them."

Dozens of experienced American doctors have been performing precision liposuction for more than a decade. But in the last two to three years, hundreds of other doctors have been adding it to their surgical repertory because it seems easier to perform than it used to be and because more patients are asking for it, said Dr. Peter B. Fodor, a plastic surgeon in Los Angeles.

"Because our equipment has gotten better, surgeons who a few years ago would not have touched areas like kneecaps, inner thighs, back rolls, calves and ankles have extended their practices," Dr. Fodor said.

New types of ultrasound machines, which can be used to break up fat before it is extracted, and daintier cannulae, the blunt-tipped hollow tubes used to dislodge and suck out fat, have made it easier for doctors to fine-tune liposuction, Dr. Fodor said.

During liposuction operations, doctors anesthetize patients, inject a numbing solution and suction fat cells out of the body with a tube inserted into incisions in the skin. Patients may be sore and bruised for several days to weeks afterward, but doctors say results are permanent on the treated areas as long as patients maintain stable weight.

Because removing too much fat can be risky, medical societies do not recommend liposuction for the morbidly obese. But it has been widely used to reduce bulges on the merely chubby.

And now, as it has grown more precise, liposuction is attracting a new clientele of body-conscious people who want to improve physiques already honed by diet and regular exercise

"Some of them are perfect 10's who want to be 10½'s," said Dr. Howard D. Sobel, a dermatologist in Manhattan whose liposuction patients have included models and personal trainers. "These patients' 'before' pictures are what patients in the past wished their 'after' pictures looked like."

One of Dr. Sobel's patients is Judy Goss, a former Ford model who works as a model agent. "By normal standards, I'm pretty skinny," said Ms. Goss, 38. She is 5-foot-10 and weighs 126 pounds, she said. "But my arms were getting a little flappy. I could feel it wiggle every time I shook hands."

Two years ago Dr. Sobel performed liposuction on her upper arms.
Dr. Lawrence S. Reed, the plastic surgeon who operated on Ms. Conte, the bartender, said some patients who choose micro liposuction want to reduce such negligible deposits that doctors can have trouble seeing the problem when the patients are undressed.

To pinpoint the little lumps of fat, Dr. Reed, who is based in Manhattan, asks patients to wear their favorite jeans or bra right before surgery so he can mark the areas with a pen.

Patients have developed their own nicknames for these obscure fat deposits. To help doctors understand the exact locations their patients are describing, the journal Dermatologic Surgery recently published an article titled "Lexicon of Areas Amenable to Liposuction." According to the article, patients are now asking for liposuction of the "buffalo hump" (upper back), the "wings" (bulges around the bra area), the "doughnut" (around the belly button), the "banana fold" (below the buttocks), the "piano legs" (calves) and the "chubb."

"Chubb is a Southern term for the kneecap area," said one of the article's authors, Dr. William P. Coleman III, a clinical professor of dermatology at Tulane University School of Medicine in New Orleans. He has not yet heard a colloquialism for ankle fat.

Even though these miniprocedures sound superficial, sometimes marketed as "lunchtime liposuction" or "liposculpture," they can cause medical and aesthetic problems. Possible complications include infection, scarring and perforated intestines.

Liposuction can also result in death from an overdose of anesthesia or from a pulmonary embolism in which clots block blood vessels in the lungs, Dr. Toledo said. He put the death rate from liposuction at one in 5,000 procedures in an article this year that appeared in the journal Clinics in Plastic Surgery. (Not all doctors agree on the risks: a survey by the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery estimated the death rate to be one in about 47,000 procedures.)
Dr. Fodor said operations for "lesser corrections" are technically and aesthetically more challenging because the areas that are not so fatty require more experience and wider anatomical knowledge. Ankles have superficial nerves and arteries that can be damaged, he said. Fat on the back or kneecap is very fibrous and can be difficult to remove evenly. And kneecaps have sac-like cavities that can be easily traumatized, Dr. Fodor said.

Doctors are grappling over where to draw the line. Last week Dr. Toledo saw a patient who wanted to have liposuction of her pubic area.

"In Brazil, bikinis are very small, and she complained that a little bit of fat stuck out over her bikini," he said. Dr. Toledo refused to do the surgery. He said removing the fat might make sex painful for her. "Sometimes a change is so small that it is not worth the time, money and risk."

Some medical ethicists are concerned that medical societies have not established standards or guidelines for doctors on what kinds of micro liposuction are too minor to be worth the risk. "Today the cutoff point is the pubic area, and what about tomorrow?" said Sheila M. Rothman, a professor of sociomedical sciences at the Mailman School of Public Health of Columbia University.

But Rosamond Rhodes, the director of bioethics at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, does not see an ethical concern. "Humans have always been willing to invest time, energy and risk in looking attractive, so I don't see smaller liposuction procedures as a sign of doom, gloom and the downfall of our culture," she said. "It's just medicine being used to address problems that it could not address before."

Still, Dr. Rothman worries that these tiny procedures may create a demand for serial liposuction in which patients come to view surgery as a maintenance technique, like fitness.

"We already have a model for this with Botox and Restylane, where people go to their doctors every few months to get another shot whenever they feel like it," Dr. Rothman said. "Maybe liposuction will become like a gym membership where you pay a doctor $10,000 for the year and you can have as much surgery as you want."

Don't say it

I know, I'm gonna hear it - from my blog reading public... from the peanut gallery - a resounding, loud: "I Told You So.

Here's the deal: I've been accumulating these medical bills for the kids - get them, kinda look at them, and put them away. Finally I got a BIG one from the plastic surgeon who stiched Nathan up after he hit his head on my parents fire place mantle - last December. (We're talkin' over $1,000 here - just so you get an idea of what I consider BIG.) So, that got me moving.

I called the insurance company and was able to get that BIG bill reduced by $714 - but the other charges were "after hours" charges & not covered.

THe other, more recent charges/Dr's visits are covered by the X's new insurance & they have to meet the deductible before the insurance kicks in... soooo.

I email X andtell him about the charges, how I got the bill reduced, and what his share is. I say that he can let me know how he wants to do it - little by little, pay Dr. directly, whatever.

He emails back: "I'm sorry, but I literally have no money."

Ok. We're not going to go into what went through my mind then.. but suffice it to say that something along the lines of "you're a friggin' corporate hack, I'm a socialworker & you have no money...?"

I acknowlege the financial situation, but remind him that we indeed still have to pay the bills.

He then responds with an email basically blaming me for everything. I went back to school, I got us into debt, I'm selfish for doing this, I should be earning more, I'm going to ruin the kids' lives because they won't be able to go to a good school... It's his usual tirade.

So, I'm thinkin' - in my last post about him I pretty much say, what? That I took time out to sit & listen to him & help him? And I really have to know that I do that without any sort of "thank you."

So, that has been on my mind a lot. I mentioned it to my parents (I don'tdon'tdon'tDON'T know why) that X called & that I spoke to him like that. My Dad was like: "WHY did you do that?! Has he ever done that for you? WHen you were married?" And I thought - and no. Never. Whenever I was tired, upset, nervous, stressed, whatever -& shared, it always went back to him & what a bad, awaful, tiring day HE had. And if/when I ever shared any anxiety, troubling thought, problem with him - chances are he would use it against me at some point. Like if I would say: "This makes me nervous" "or, this is something I don't like about myself" he would use it again later.

Nice guy, huh? Yeah, that's why I'm payin' my shrink the big bucks...

SO, this is all nagging on me now -- that and the fact that you'd think that the benefit of being divorced from somebody means you don't have to deal with their shit. But look at that: I still do!